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  • Steven Robinson
    Steven Robinson

    What to Do When Your Potential Date Would Be Better for a Friend

    We’ve all been in the same boat of dating someone who we thought showed a lot of promise, yet it became apparent that at least one of us was merely a way station on our route to someone else. Your potential date might reveal themselves as a better fit for a friend or an acquaintance - what should you do?

    The first thing that must be acknowledged is how much of a tricky situation it can be. On the one hand, you want to do what’s best for your friend - given them the opportunity to meet someone who can be theirs exclusively. On the other hand, you don’t want to deny yourself the chance at love for the sake of them. All of this must be weighed accordingly in your decision-making.

    The adage about honesty being the best policy often applies in situations like this. Assuming there is genuine chemistry between you both, be honest with your potential date about your predicament. Let them know that you’d like to explore the situation further, but another person may be a better match and introduce them to your friend. Doing so demonstrates a respect for their feelings and allows them plenty of time to prepare - just be sure to provide enough context without infringing the friendship codes of trust.

    At the same time, you mustn’t swing too far in the other direction and set your sights solely on the possibility of a relationship with your friend - even if they return the same feelings and prefer your company too. Often, people don’t see such changes in dynamic through objective lenses and fail to recognize the risks that may be involved. You don’t want to be the reason that a friendship is damaged or ruined, so tread carefully and make sure that you both consent before taking such a step.

    While doing all of this sounds morally upright, it’s important to acknowledge that ultimately, you should do what’s best for you. Be clear on your own wants and needs, as it isn’t fair to ask someone to hang on if you think you’re not the right fit for them. Likewise, if your friend offers you up because they believe it’s what’s best for you - sincerely thank them, but be honest that you don’t think it’s right. Give them space, but don’t deny yourself the possibility of the reward that may come.

    Weigh all options thoroughly and keep communication open. Refrain from taking away another’s choice, while still giving yourself the opportunity to explore a potential relationship further. Most importantly, stay true to your own heart and dreams and don’t let anyone else stand in the way of that. By respecting all parties involved, you can ensure that everyone leaves feeling safe and secure.

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