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  • Matthew Frank
    Matthew Frank

    Have I Already Missed My Chance?

    Have you ever been convinced that you've missed a chance IN life? That the opportunity right in front of you has passed you by and you must just accept your loss? Well, you’re not alone. Many of us agonize over moments where we are certain we have made a mistake and irrevocably let the chance go without us. When these feelings hit, it can be crushing and lead to a paralysis as we wonder if there is anything left to be done.

    What can you do if you find yourself in this position? Above all, remember that it is certainly not the end of the world. Though the situation can feel like it will plague you for the rest of your life, resist the urge to wallow in despair and instead focus on the positives. Ask yourself what may be learned from the experience. What mistakes were made? How can these be avoided or remedied in the future? Was it a lesson in resilience, patience, or understanding?

    When trying to determine if a chance has been lost forever, don't delude yourself into thinking there are no options. When opportunity presents itself, our natural inclination is to either seize it or let it pass. But sometimes we leave ourselves open to the possibility of gently negotiating with the decision. It may not be possible to gain the same outcome, but you can look for different paths. Think outside the box and come up with solutions that can make progress toward the desired outcome, even if it's not the same avenue you initially thought would bring success.

    It is easy to let past mistakes haunt us and convince us that the chance was never ours. You can often allow yourself to be convinced that fate has already determined the outcome -- that its final verdict was simply not for you. But it is important to remember that very rarely does the outcome of an inherent decision solely reside in yourself. The presence of other people in our lives can complicate our paths and influence our decisions, but more often than not, the pathway is not solely of our own making.

    By being compassionate with ourselves, we can accept that a lost chance occurs naturally in life, and it is okay. Not everything will be within our control, and while it is okay to grieve, recognize that it is also important to step away and allow yourself to move on.

    Above all, value your innermost feelings, and never let anyone tell you that you "had your chance". If you remain positive and prepared to seize further opportunities, chances are they will begin to present themselves. This can be done by communicating your aims, building relationships, networking, and deepening your knowledge base. Embrace the unknown and explore whatever new possibilities arise. This doesn’t mean you should act recklessly, but instead adjust your expectations and go with the flow when faced with difficult choices. By doing this, even if you feel a chance has been missed, you will find yourself ready for the next one.

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