RVM84

Really thought you would contact me today on what is a pretty special day. I'm really glad you didn't but it also feels weird, like part of me died a little when you didn't. I think this is the beginning of my life without you now, for real. When you reached out a few weeks ago I really thought you had changed, but you went back to the same old bull and now I realise that there's no way you could have healed or changed, and that this relationship could ever work between us. I'm sad if you're still hurt and struggling to process things, but you chose this, and now I could never choose to be with you or trust you again. I loved you really deeply, but I think for the first time after 8 months I can say and mean that the way I feel has really changed. I miss what we had, and the way you used to be with me, but I don't miss you – the totality of you, that deserves to be fully loved my someone. I used to think that could be me, but now I know it's not. I think I'll always hold love for you in my heart, because you gave and showed me so much, but it's time to let you go and fully heal from everything that happened. I hope some day you can find it within yourself to do the same. You deserve to be happy as much as I do, and I hope you find whatever path that leads you there. I know my path doesn't include you any more. I loved you so deeply, but it's time to say goodbye. I hope you find what you need, because I know it's time for me to move on from this. Find the peace I couldn't give you, and let yourself be loved.