I dont know if I'm Bi/Straight

[TennisLover]

Hello,

Well here is my story. Im a 16 year old girl from California. Well I have heard that being sexualy abused can kind of make you think you are gay...you know like if youve been molested by a guy, then you hate them. Well thats what happened to me. But thats a whole other topic I need advice on. So that happened when I was about 12 or 13, and the guy is my friends older brother hes 21 now. So needless to say I now feel uncomfortable around most every male, I hate to admit it but even mt male family members who would never do anything like that to me, I feel uncomfortable around. So now Ive found that I only feel comfortable around women. And lately I have begain to find some of them very attractive. I dont know if its just that Im open minded or what. I really dont think Im full on gay, but I can definatley see myself as bi. I could never imagine myself with a guy from high school. I wouldnt dream of having a boyfriend, but I could picture myself with a girl. I find them very attractive, much more attractive then men. And lately I have been into all these lesbian movies and TV shows, and hello I do like tennis...haha Butit seems like its an on-off thing. Sometimes I feel like I like men, then its like I like women. I just really dont know what it is. Im so confused. Im sorry I cant tell you more right now, Ill try to explain more when I can put it into words. Thanks in advance though.

[BrokenWingedFaery]

I think you should probably get some counseling for the abuse before trying to ascertain your orientation.

 

I knew I was bi prior to being molested, so it wasn't an issue for me.

[TennisLover]

God isnt it disgusting, it seems everone has been molested! Well I know I need to talk to someone, but Im sure you know, its easier said than done

[law4life]

I agree, you should seek counseling prior to dating anyone, especially while you are still young. Getting help now will save a lot of heartache in the future. I was raped at 13 lost my virginity that way. I am 33 now, and still have problems dealing with men. No one got help for me, you go get it for yourself, I wish I didn't wait so long to get it. Trust me, you are more than likely not bi-or gay. You just need to be healed that's all Sweetie...

[BrokenWingedFaery]

"God isnt it disgusting, it seems everone has been molested! Well I know I need to talk to someone, but Im sure you know, its easier said than done"

 

Sexual violence is very common. Nearly everyone I know was raped or molested. Granted, people with similar experiences group together, but it seems like everyone's had something like this happen.

 

And yes, I know it's easier said than done. In fact, I've never gotten professional help, with how my family is, it wouldn't be safe. It's one of those things...when you think you're over it/ok/getting better, something comes up and it's suddenly very hard to cope. I've only recently begun to see everything objectively and it's been awhile since this happened.

[Ipso Fracto Man]

I read somewhere that sexual abuse occurs in about one out of three homes. And think, that's just the ones that get reported. Sad frickin' state of affairs.

 

Counseling does sound like a good idea, since it helps so many people with the confusion and other things related to being victimized. I would add to that, though, that if you decide you like girls, guys, both or even none of the above, it is your right to take your orientation in any direction you want.

 

Once you're eighteen (per CA law), that is.

[BrokenWingedFaery]

Yeah...sexual abuse is majorly under reported.

 

I think it's important to focus on getting to be ok with guys, for the most part, before trying to figure out if you're bi/straight/les