A friend who "holds me as more than a friend"

[ShadeOfGreen]

So this girl and I have been really tight for a long time now but a few weeks ago we got really close for the first time physically. NOt kissing or stuff cause she has a boyfriend and wouldn't allow it.

 

But now we keep having talks about "us" and then she'll ignore me. And she'll tell me stuff about her and her boyfriend and I just don't know why cause the feelings are obviously there and its like "who are you trying to convince".

 

If anyone has an opinion or wants to know more my AIM name is: Sonambulist101

[pimpcess]

Yes as Swingfox said she is very uncertain in what she wants.

 

Remember, this girl has a boyfriend!! i.e- territory u can't touch.

 

But by all means be straight with her, tell her how u feel.

 

Try and find out what she really feels 4 u and if she's happy with her boyfriend, I'd suggest she's not 100% happy with him by acting like this with you. Just tell her u need to know where u stand and if there is any future for the 2 of you. Be brave, nothing ventured, nothing gained!

 

If not it sounds like u get on very well so value her friendship and be there for her.

 

Good luck.

[owlman]

Hey ShadeOfGreen,

What do you mean by physicall close, but not kissing and stuff? Are we talking about hugging here, or what?

It may be that she's not sure about how she feels about you, and keeps reverting to talking about her boyfriend to sort of remind both you and herself that she is seeing someone.

I think SwingFox said it best about not trying to guess what she's thinking/feeling but to actually act on it.

[ShadeOfGreen]

by physically close I mean like dancing real close and and touching and kissing but not on the lips just like on the face. Also we were holding hands or touching the entire night.

 

Before (over six months ago) when we talked about this it seemed like it wasn't gonna happen cause she didn't wanna get involved in a relationship with any distance. And whever it comes uyp she always says "well, you're gonna be at school". I just don't know where to even approach the situation. I just feel like its this forbidden thing we're not supposed to talk about and I feel a little nauseous around her and things. Usually we actually end up talking about it through AIM cause we just can't get things out in person about it.

 

Worst part is her bf is similar to me like me from what i've met I feel like I'm being replaced. I've known her for years and I feel there has always been a little something between us and now its like she doesn't need me so i've been cast aside.

 

I don't know, i'm not good at explaining this over message boards.

 

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AIM: Sonambulist101

[Turboz]

Actually I don't see what the bf has to do with this situation.

 

Yes she's uncertain of what she wants but thats usually the way with most women when they see another man that they like. They don't seem to instantly "want" like we men but they seem to have to think the situation through a lot longer.

 

I know I'm going to get shot soon for mentioning my friend in Moldova again, but when I first took a fancy to her she apparently had a bf - Didn't stop her making eye contact with me frequently though. When I last spoke to her she admitted that she was doing it too and I'm years younger than her - Her bf was 1 yr older than she is.

 

I could give more indepth advice here on how to try and win over her affection but I don't want to do it because there is another man involved. If your friend was just having 2nd thoughts about you and she didn't have a current bf I would instantly advise but it's not wise to create a triangle if it can be avoided.

 

If she splits with him any time soon then PM me.