Should I send him

[natash24]

Hi all,

[Genesis]

You can send him a email but , send it more as a friendly gesture.

 

Do not tell him that you miss him in a e-mail save that for when he calls you. If he wants to get back together I am sure he will bring it up on his own.

 

Go to the movies with him but as friends! Do not sleep with him or any thing to hot any heavy! I feel it is a mans job to chase the woman, who wants an indecisive man.

 

Flirt with him and give him hints that you still have feelings for him but at the same time do not make yourself seem too desperate.

 

Did he dump you?

 

If he did make him work to get you back!

[zerohour]

Natash,

 

It sounds like an "I miss you" email would not be such a good idea at this point. It's obvious that he's looking to at least start seeing you on a regular basis again, and from there, it seems almost inevitable that you two will get back together if you're both interested--so just hold on and don't get the horse ahead of the cart.

 

By sending him that email, you will be shifting all of the "power" in the relationship to him. Power can stem from one person not knowing where the other stands. If you know he likes you and he in unsure how you feel, you're in control of things--and that's exactly where you want to be.

 

I would recommend making him chase you. Don't send the email, just setup a time to go to the movies and let him do all of the work. You may think it's stupid to play all of these mind games, but whether or not you like it, this kind of thing is real, and it affects EVERYONE, if only subconsciously (even those who claim to be "above" it).

 

Good luck to you two.

 

-Zer0

[reborn]

Hello there again Natash,

I think zerohour has given you excellent advice. I would suggest exactly the same.

It is so hard to think clearly in these situations. We get so emotional and unsure of what best to do when we are the ones involved and when it comes to the ex that it is really hard to make decisions. I think what you did to ask before sending this email and take your time to think about and study the posibility is very wise Natash. If he has been calling so often and has shown interest to see you it is a certainly a good sign and to your advantage. So, remain calm and above all balanced. Keep doing as you are doing. You are doing great. I know how hard it is to be in love with someone and to be friendly but not show your real feelings in this situations. But really it not about playing games, it is about being wise, observing the situation and watching out for your self.

 

Be friendly and nice to him but don´t show any emotional from the heart type feelings now. I know it is hard to keep ourselfs in control and not give into instant satisfaction, but I think is best to hold those feelings until he expresses the same or expresses he wants you guys to go back. Your feelings will still be there, they are not going anywhere. And you can tell him how much you´ve missed him later, when it is safer for you to be emotionally vulnerable.

It is not about being fake or playing games, again I think it is about balance, being sensible. No matter whos fault it was that the breakup occurred he wanted out, he left you for 5 months, you´ve had a broken heart, I don´t think that you should be the first to jump into lets get back together or insinuated in any way if he has been contacting you. Don´t be mean, don´t push him away, but let him be the one to do the work. Probably at some point during the breakup you expressed to him that it was not what you wanted so deep down he knows you´ve missed him. Let him do the emotional chasing now.

If I were you and what I consider the best thing for you to do now since you love him, is something in the lines of zerohour´s advice. Send him an email telling him sorry you´ve been so busy to see him that it will be nice to meet up and setting up a time when you can make it see a movie with him. Something concrete like next sunday afternoon, something like this. And when you do meet, you will probably be nervous. Just try to be natural and have a good time and enjoy yourself with him. No negatives thoughts and no talk about the relationship at least you don´t bring them up. Also look smashing. Not overdone but smashing. But what will keep tipping the balance in your favor is that you guys have fun while together and enjoy yourselfs. That is why you need to just relax so you can be a happy, carefree you!

Best of luck Natash, let us know how things turn out.

-Reborn

[natash24]

Thank you so much for your advice. The reason I am hesitant about his feelings for me is because I was the one who initially suggested we go see a movie and since then we have both been playing phone tag though recently I have been busy. SO sometimes I think he's asking me if we should go to the movies out of being nice and it's nothing more and I am scared and at the same time thinking about it so much I am getting my hopes up. I mean if he wasn't interested he would not have called right? The last time he called was 2 weeks ago when I told him I was leaving out of town for the weekend. then when I got back I invited him to go see my friends band but he said he was busy and nothing since then. SO does it like he's interested or just lonely or something . thanks

[Genesis]

I am not sure you never know with guys?

 

I would say that it sounds like he is not interested but I could be wrong.

 

My ex and I have not contacted each other for four months and now he wants to get back together.

 

Just see how things work out, that is what I am doing. Just take one day at a time.