Naturally Patient ?

[bobster]

This topic is very interesting, I can relate it to a situation that started with myself and a colleague last year......and it is kind of still continuing.

 

Thanks

[IDEAWHAT]

u read all of the 3 pages?

[Msnak]

The following is my account after seven days of no contact, but seven days of 1 million questions!! The questions were about to send me over the edge!

 

MINUTES BEFORE THE CALL:

 

Oh, my gosh, I just got a strange feeling of bravery that has come from you! Thanks so very much I am going to call him and try to get some answers. I'll let you know how it goes. It helped not having time today to overanalyze things, I had dinner with a friend right after work, so we talked and she thought what you did-- that maybe "my guy" just doesn't know much about dating. I may not get an answer about how many women he's dated over the phone tonight—if he answers & is available—but I'll certainly ask face-to-face if we get that chance again.

 

I'm not afraid of rejection, he might get scared off, but I stopped caring! I want answers! This soldier is indeed marching forward….I'll let you know if he marches with me!

 

The defining words you inspired me with in the private email you sent are:

 

"Need to make the moves and find out! Your life needs to continue forward.. don't hold yourself back because of one guys inability to communicate effectively with you."

 

THANKS!!

 

 

AFTER THE CALL:

 

 

I can't feel the blood flow through my left hand (I'm left-handed)--I just called "my guy"

he was happy to hear from me

and just left work

and is on his way, at 10 p.m. to take care of stuff for his sports club

he said he promises to call me tomorrow so we can really talk

i completely believe him, and I'm so glad i called and now i cna't type, sorry for typos and incomplete sentences.

i'm so happy i need to go for a late-night run or something!

God bless you for inspiring me, I thank you and I will keep you posted.

[bobster]

u read all of the 3 pages?

 

Yes

[Msnak]

Bobster, how did it turn out in your situation? Did you get your heart broken or were you able to conquer love? Or friendship, even?

[IDEAWHAT]

bobster

 

 

and

 

 

Do tell your story, I would liek to hear it!

[Msnak]

The latest in my post-NC story:

 

He promised to call and he did.

 

He did all the talking. Cool that he feels comfortable sharing his work frustrations with me. Maybe I represent calm and guidance for him? He said he's been working crazy hours and isn't liking his job now. He said he feels like there's a lot of pressure on him, demands on his time from everyone and he's not sure how to handle it. And he needs a vacation or something to get away from the monotony and annoyance he's been dealing with.

 

He said he'll call. He kept saying it. He skipped another call to keep talking to me.

 

There.

 

We made progress for the first time in weeks, if not months. Let's see how long this lasts. I'm thinking we're both going to have to start as friends if anything. And that's fine. It'll keep me from going crazy trying to figure out stuff. Friendship is so low-key and if romance springs from it, that's fine.

 

Now that my feet are back down on the ground, I feel like whatever happens with this guy--at least I won't have regrets or nagging "what if" feelings. This is all going to be out in the open. Even if he tells me on the phone, "Hey, I can't stand you, go away." Then at least I know!

 

But it appears like I do have him "enlisted for the long-haul"...unless he flakes...and again, I'm not getting my expectations up. But I can say in a few weeks we're planning to go to a concert together. So, we're looking at taking the time to get to know each other.

[bobster]

 

at least I won't have regrets or nagging "what if" feelings. .

 

"what if" feelings are a terrible terrible thing that could have been avoided if only courage was present within yourself at the time.

 

I have a few of these in my book, and I'm sure I don't want any more of these ever again!!!

 

Glad your making progress in your situ and thanks for your pm

Bobster

 

[Msnak]

Not sure if anyone was reading this anymore, but here's an update.

 

Twelve days after thinking I was all done with him -- which made me miserable, I had my next date with my guy! It went well, but he might be taking a job out of the area. We've developed a pretty solid foundation of info about each other. I don't know where this will lead, but I'm glad I got assertive, took some chances, called him, questioned him and didn't lie home wondering. I think he was so stressed he just wasn't capable of adding one more thing to his plate, especially a relationship. So, I've been supportive, give him some space, but he's been responding a lot better.

 

Even if we break up, I've learned to go after what I want more and not be so passive.

[IDEAWHAT]

This is indeed a non typical case I would consider to witness even within a yearly period. I need to become more exposed to common trends... if indeed this is one. A woman chasing a man in this day and age?

Ok it is common I am sure... i.e. rock stars, footballers... rich men? CHASE WOMEN CHASE!

 

This is great! I can see a woman chasing a man for his inner qualities... so I am lead to believe with my current understanding of scattered information. This is simply marvelous! More women should entail this quality... but hey... who am I to say what women should and shouldn't do.

 

I was only last week I attacked for being a gentleman! Bring back the traditional women of the past! It is sad when the males most simple and effective strategy is to ignore a woman to get her attention... sad sad sad

 

But hey... I don't make the rules... you women do

 

No personal attacks here... just a general feeling towards the MTV crowd out there....

 

Cheers.

 

PS: GO MSNAK 

[Msnak]

Well, it's funny. The chase started with him. And then he got really busy and I was confused. So I got up the courage, after a while, to ask him what the deal was. He said he was interested. But he was still quite busy. I gave a gentle ultimatum to light a fire under his tail and it worked. But then, I was unsure. I've had to put aside my uncertainty--caused by simply being a woman--and try to think clearly and just experience the situation of getting to know someone new.

 

So far, so good. It's been a lot of work, but isn't that in any relationship?

[IDEAWHAT]

yes.

100%.