Love at first sight

[sisterlynch]

A lot of the questions that I have seen seem to deal with how quickly to move in a relationship. Most of the time, one person is feeling the drive and not the other.

 

You need to be very kind and gentle to the other person while they are figuring out how they feel about you.

 

Try not to move to quickly. We all make snap descisions, all the time, and the less time you spend thinking about something, the more likely that you will feel some regrets.

 

Go for a new relationship, like you would for anything else, in a slow and steady manner.

[CarterJonas]

hi sisterlynch,

 

Do you believe in love at first sight?.......not sure whether I do.... I think with all my ex.'s I definitely fancied them at first sight but the love thing came along later.

[FuriousSam]

Love at first sight? You mean Lust at first sight.

[sisterlynch]

You are both right, I do believe that the attraction that we feel when we SEE someone new is more of an infatuation, than anything else, yes, lust does fall under that category.

 

It takes a while before something more than lust or attraction will form. This is why romance and many other infatuations will slow down as you age, you grow more accostomed to dealing with people and their many looks and personality types.

 

In general, if you give anyone or anything time, they should go thru the variety of emotions...

 

People who hate very strongly, I feel like this is often the opposite of lust, or a repulsion toward another individual based upon things that they do or say that remind you of someone or something else that you hate or have hated in the past.

 

The truth is that these are all emotions that we can slowly learn to control as you are going through the same experiences over and over...do you ever do that?

 

Feel like you are getting drawn in to the same games or annoyances over and over? You are realizing too late that the same bad feelings that you have had before are returning in a similar instance, like greed, lust, depression, any lack of control comes from not being assertive in the first place or giving in too easily or being too nice or a push over.

 

These are all common feelings to all of us, and we can conquer them all eventually, but we need to see the situation for what it is, clearly and without denial.

 

Then take steps to stop the interruption in the good times. To defeat the inturruption on some deep level.

[FuriousSam]

This is something that I found really true:

 

"I think love with a woman is what happens AFTER the infatuation has worn off. Sure you still find her physically attractive, but it's not the sex that's the most important thing, it's the trust, the familiarity, the common interests and goals, the mutual support etc. The trouble is most people today don't see this. Sex is all that matters for most men, and emotional drama is all that matters for most women. If either party doesn't get enough satisfaction in these areas, they will just look for someone else to provide it." -- Austin Allegro

 

As for hate, I believe that hate and love are not that far apart like the opposite of the spectrum most people would think. There are many similarities that made me believe that they are very much related; kind of hand in hand if you will.

 

As for trying to control emotions, it is an irrational thing. But yes, over time and many different situations, we learn to accept it more and more and the dealings gets easier.

[Spugly Fuglet]

See