I want to end my long LDR

[penda]

Hi,

I've been in along distance relationship for a couple of months now. I really care about this guy and he said really cared about me. When we first started talking, we would talk every single day online. Then he moved out of his apartment he shared with his roomates and now he has no internet access. They only way we can communicate during the week is by text message on the cell phone (he has a prepaid phone). On the weekends we can talk by phone. However, are communication is decreasing more and more because he always so busy and since he's lost his job, he's been trying to find ways to make money on the weekends. I told him to be honest with me about us and he said that he wants me stick by him through this time, but its getting hard. How can I stick by him when he can't even call me on the weekends? Why can't he take out an hour to call me? I have to practically hunt him down to talk to him. He does text me during the week, but even that is decreasing. I don't know if he is telling the truth or not, but all i know is that I am tired of this. Either he has to make more of an effort to talk to me or I am going to have to end it. It's not that i am being selfish. Shoot I am busy woman myself, but at least I make the effort to contact him. If wants to end things with me I wish he woud just be honest with me and do it. I'm tired of feeling depressed. What should I do?

[Mar]

Well, he's doing what he needs to do; maybe you need to do the same. Either be patient with him and know he's doing all he can to get regular work so he CAN get a computer again, or, if you just can't wait, then be honest with him and let him know this is too hard for you. And I DO understand your frustration in that he can't find time to call for a few minutes-could it be that he just can't afford to do that now? No job=dwindling funds fast, and he might just be embarrassed to tell you he's in a bind.

 

Any LDR is going to be a strain. The fact that your guy met with unfortunate circumstances isn't his fault, and he asked you to stick with him. If you care enough, you'll do that. Yes, it's hard when you can't communicate too much. But this isn't a permanent thing. Maybe you just need to be a little more patient, and keep in mind that he's not enjoying it any more than you are. But I wouldn't start distrusting what he says.....he's given you no reason to think he's lying about anything other than just not being in contact as much.

 

If it's too hard, then let him know that you need to move on, since there's no communication going on. Just be gentle!

 

Mar

[JenEPoo12]

I've been in the same situation, of course you may think I'm young, but I was in a long distance relationship for 2 years. At first it wasn't easy, and sometimes My guy would go several days without calling, but truthfully I didn't think anything of it. Of course I always wished he would call, but I figured he had "better things" to do. I called him as much as I could, when I found the time myself to call, and eventually the tables turned. He started calling me everyday, and everything became just how I wanted it to be. Sometimes you have to work hard, so someone else will work hard for you.

 

However, my guy did go through this stage where he didn't want to talk to me, because he had to sort a lot of things out, and I guess he thought it was better not to talk to me, I don't know. If I were you I would really get the truth out of him because you shouldnt have to be wasting your time on a lost cause. But on the other hand I don't see why he would drag you along if he didn't care about you. I would certainly wait to see what happens in the near future and take things from there..