nevermind, but thanks

[jamspanic]

nevermind

[Hannibal]

No you're not crazy for being upset about her persuing these relationships. The two of you are however crazy for talking about your past, let alone sexual. This is a mistake that most people make. Try to remember that you are with someone new and your past and her past don't make any difference.

[Cecelius]

It makes some difference because people don't change their basic thoughts overnight. Numbers and details however are not good to talk about (anyone who has soft feelings for a girl will be moderately likely to judge terribly shallow actions).

 

No, you are not crazy. She seems like someone who wants attention from men who want her sexually. Maybe she can ward off their advances and maybe she cannot, but she is sticking her arm in the lion's cage in any event and a person in love is not usually inclined to specifically do something "gray" that hurts their partner.

 

My advice is if you two are young is:

 

1) Do not get too attached, as she may not be mature or stable enough to be true to you (which is not evil or bad or otherwise, it just is). Many young people enjoy the attention and the feeling that "something is going on" too much to deny someone if the timing is right.

 

2) These are men who have slept with her. Likely, if the timing was right, they would want to again. If she is encouraging them, she either wants the attention (and is not experienced enough to know that, whether they are "bad boys" or not, they will try to sleep with her, even if it is to steal her or otherwise) or she wants to have her cake and eat it too. If she is in a relationship with you it is moderately inapropriate to be hanging with them. These are not ex-b/fs (and even if they were, that's still weird), they are former "friends with benefits". Without a morality discussion, you need to decide if you think she's in the right frame of mind for you.

 

She would counter by asking if you are telling her what to do, whom to talk to, who she can be with, don't you trust her, aren;t you just insecure, etc. if you discuss these things with any weakness.

 

3) Distance yourself and protect yourself. You care for her but she will do what she wants. If your attitude is, and she knows it, that if she steps too far out of the box, she is gone, she may stick around, or not, either way you are better off. This is not advice to be cold, just to acknowledge that you are having a good time and whatever else, is what it is. Also remember that LDRs don't work. They just don't.

 

4) FIND YOURSELF SOME FEMALE FRIENDS to hang out with. You may be amazed to find out what she is jealous of.

Also be mindful of whether she marks her territory JUST because she is jealous -- you want and deserve a girl who will not be reckless with your feelings or her actions.

 

5) You are the prize. If she doesn't agree, that is her decision to let unfortunate things happen or to break up with you. Move on from there.