Opinions Needed

[MelissaPerry]

I have been seeing this guy on and off for almost a year now. We don't really spend that much time together. Anyhow, the last time I was there I forgot some stuff there and have asked him about six or seven times if I can get it back, and he keeps saying that he is busy that day and will get it to me another day. I guess I need opinions on why would someone hold onto your stuff, is there a reason for it.

 

Thanks for your opinions.....

[SLBG]

Hi MelissaPerry,

 

Welcome to enotalone.com

 

I take it you have split up with this guy ???

 

Did you split up from him or did he end it with you ???

 

If you ended it with him then I kinda no what hes doing.

 

By keeping your stuff and saying that he is busy when you want to collect it, he is making excuse for contact.

 

If he gave you all of your stuff back there would be no reason for you to contact him. What he cannot see is that if you love him and miss him you would make contact.

 

I might have the whole thing wrong so I will hold back until I no more info. If you post details we will see what we can do.

 

Hope this has helped.

[MelissaPerry]

Well we were never actually BF/GF persay, but we dated, if that makes any sense at all. It hasn't actually ended, we still talk, but we don't really hang out that often and only talk every once in awhile. The whole situtation is very weird. But I just don't understand why he is hanging onto my stuff.

[SLBG]

Hi MelissaPerry,

 

Sorry for the delay in responding to your post.

 

Well the situation is very weird. Hanging onto your stuff can only leave a window of communication open.

 

If he gives you all your stuff back, you may never call again. On the other hand if he returns all your stuff you might still contact him.

 

I don't think he wants to lose you, its sounds to me like there are some games being played.

 

Me and my ex split up 5 weeks ago, she took most of her stuff but left a few things. A few clothes and other stuff but also her passport.

 

I want to give her back ALL her stuff, im in two minds. Part of me knows it's the right thing to do but part of me wants to keep the stuff so she will contact me.

 

Sad really I no, if she calls and wants her stuff she wasn't calling/contacting to talk to me. But from what I have read on this site, the dumper will often leave stuff so that they can make excuses to contact without having to admit they missed you.

 

There are a lot of games which can be played, some more hurtful than others. Most of us don't want to play games but often cannot see that we already are.

 

I've looked for advice on my situation but have yet to make any decisions, I hope for the both of us that it will all work out in the end.

 

We can only become stronger, if you want you stuff back I would just contact him and ask he returns it.

 

If hes funny about giving it back then he does not want to let go, doesn't want to lose you and is holding on in hope.

 

Hope this has helped,

 

Regards

 

slbg