cpc28655

i wouldnt mind if some girl wemt up to me and sparked up a good conversation. it saves playing cat and mouse

Some of us like cat and mouse.

I have given this some serious thought and I think I have figured out why it bothers me so much. There is a thread similar to this on plenty of fish. There is one lady that said Personal experience: every time I ask...they say no. "shrugs" ...oh well!!. Under this post there is a guy that says, Well, your asking idiots then, because any half intelligent man would not turn you down....

. Take a moment and consider the weight of that guys statement.

If a man says no to a woman for whatever reason, we tend to look down upon the man. Perhaps not to the extreme that guy on plenty of fish did, but the fact remains. I am a strong believer in both "equal rights" and "equal responsibility". So yes, women or men should feel free to ask the other out. But in order for it to to really work, I think we must reexamine what is meant by equality.

But I am just a simple cook, lol.

I think for some men and women, the better question is what PLANET are you from.

What was the rationale for not reciprocating interest and making a move? I'm currently a full-time student and work 30 hours a week for a grand total of 60 hours of gut-wrenching work weeks. Stupid reason, I know. Whatever. Nobody -- and I mean NOBODY -- is in control of my mental state/emotions except me. I am the authority of me.

 

We'll see what happens in any case though!

No, that is NOT a stupid reason. Anyone that has had that kind of schedule can relate to your rationale. Been there, done that.

Flirting does not = interest. It may, but it doesn't always. I've seen some flirting between two uninterested people become very heavy and sexually suggestive and still neither of them were serious beyond having fun flirting.

I believe it is called "harmless flirtation". I believe that most of the flirting that goes on falls into that category.

Speaking for myself only, I doubt I would call. That would just be way too odd for me to deal with.

depends how much emphasis they put on it. if it is brought up a lot, yeah, i don't like it much. but i always like a sexual chick. but if it is always the topic of discussion, she seems like a ****. but i really don't want to hear about past sexual things a chick did with her last bf etc. lol

Exactly. Nothing wrong with being comfortable with one's sexuality. However, being obsessed with sex is a different matter.

awww.. don't say Ugly.. that's not a good term. I think beauty comes from the inside.. there are too many so called "attractive" people in the world who are ugly inside.. i'd take a not so attractive person who is sweet and confident over some nice looking person who is ugly and insecure on the inside.

I would like to add to this if I may. Personally, I believe that no matter what you look like, even if you are 300 lbs, a patch over one eye, and orange hair, somebody is going to think you are sexy.

So yes, beauty does come from the inside. However there is going to be somebody, somewhere that likes that person's outside as well. IMHO, calling someone ugly (even yourself) is like judging that person's taste.

Finding that somebody????? Well, that is a different story.

As far as the original post, I do like a good challenge. So I would consider that a turn-off.

Well, there must be some published research on this subject. What do the experts say?

if she watched a certain TV show last night

be very careful with this one. last time I asked that question, I spent the next 15 minutes hearing about American Idol, lol. It was almost like talking to my mother.

Depends on who it is from. If it was a girl I was dating, just about anywhere works for me. In the case of my supervisor, right on my butt is preferable, lmao.

well, I am truly at a loss on how to respond to this, but at the same time I cannot resist. But I will tell you this, you better find out before you get married, especially before the minister says, "you may now kiss the bride."

Side note: has anyone else noticed that the word "engaged" has the word "gag" in the middle of it? I didn't notice until after my divorce.

Experience points? Sounds like somebody has been playing "The Sims".

I like that game too.

Yes, but he may have had Asperger's Syndrome or some type of condition that made it hard for him to have relationships, so maybe that lack of a documented relationship should have an asterisk

I'm 30, and all of my relationships with women have been very negative, so if you've never had a relationship, you're not missing much. Believe me, it's better to attract no one than attract psychos.

Or it could have been that apple that hit him on the head, lol.

You don't see how a beautiful woman being so enamoured with you that *she's* the one willing to walk up to you and ask for a date would be an ego boost?.....Well your the only one.

 

Knowing full well that the vast majority of women can sit back and wait to be hit on, I don't understand how any guy wouldn't feel especially attractive if a woman instead hit on him.

If it were actually rare, then I could see your point. It is not.

Granted, it is not as common as the other way around, but it is not this rare treasure either. It happens, especially in cities where the females outnumber the males. Spend a couple of weeks, in Charleston, SC. That is one of the cities where the females outnumber the males. I spent 4 years of college in that city. Trust me, it happens. Just not to me, lol.

We live in an increasingly liberal society (Thank God). This is actually a predictable outcome. As a result, it will become more and more common (again, Thank God.)

All that being said, I personally don't see females as anything to be nervous about; nor do I feel privileged when one takes notice. 5 years of marriage has taught me that they are just like us, only built different. They are just as loving, and just as evil as we are, lol. My ego remains unchanged.

To answer the title question, I would love to be approached first by a girl. I don't think at all its "un-womanly" or "desperate" or whatever other title girls that are too chicken to approach guys themselves give it.

 

On the contrary it would tell me your confident and it's a *huge* ego boost for the guy, probably much moreso than the reverse. In fact, I might even consider dating a girl that asked me out that I wouldn't consider dating if I had to ask *her* out.

 

Guys will also probably more understanding if your nervous while you ask him out because he will understand how hard it is better than women do.

 

Good luck !

Ego Boost? I don't see how you are getting that.

YOu could try waiting for him at the bus stop. It might sound stalkerish but at least you'll get the chance to talk to this guy. I think it's worth it.

This isn't a bad idea. However I would add one thing; don't tell him you waited. Personally, that would freak me out in ways I can't even describe.

I'd just as soon see the girl make the first move. That way, I never get accused of harassment. Maybe this guy is that same way. What do you have to lose? Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

This is not necessarily true. This is why we have words like "setup."

Well, that is one way to attract attention to yourself. But if all you are wanting to do is attract attention to yourself, there are more memorable ways of doing so. Try dancing with one of those big hands they have at basketball games. Yea, that'll do it..........so I've heard.

If you find the answer, pass it onto me please.

Trust me, you're paying, lol. One way or the other.

To state the obvious, of course not. People have different opinions on everything, including weight. If you looked hard enough, you could find a guy that thinks your friend is too skinny and needs to gain weight. I believe it is called a "bbw fetish".

To be honest, sometimes we can't even tell if we like you. As silly as it may sound, sometimes we need you to help us to help you, lol. I would recommend asking.

I can understand where you are coming from. I am going though almost the same thing. In my case however, its a divorce. That's all I'm going to say, lol.

Excellent stuff, and you are absolutely right. An obsession/crush/infatuation is a form of addiction (and neurochemically very similar), and like any addiction, is just awful for the sufferer; periodic amazing highs intermingled with long lows and an inability to focus on anything else. As you say, a real waste of time and energy, but almost impossible to see at the time.

 

Well done for freeing yourself!

 

I thought the addiction was only awful if it wasnt being fed.