ycmanvs

I am going away for 2 weeks. We have not spoken in almost 3 weeks. I am not sure if I will ever hear from you again. I must be strong and move on.

I am hurting and I cannot believe that you do not care enough to see how I am doing, but I must accept it.

I miss you so much but you are looking to replace me. Why do you still send me texts and never call? What do you want from me?

Day 12....I think.

I have not seen him in many months but we did exchange some emails about 12 days ago. I keep thinking that I want to talk to him, because I am lonely, but then I know that I am better off without him, no matter how depressed I feel right now.

I am in the process of going back to a cheater. I am not sure if it is the wisest choice. I am keeping my options open and seeing if he has changed at all.

One month and 12 days. I am sad today. I have not heard from him and I noticed that he now has a myspace page and that he made it private. I should not be checking and I should not care, but I am just having a bad day.

One month and 4 days, and I lose my job today so I will not be online that often after today. Wish me luck....

He texted me yesterday to wish me a Happy New Year. I did not answer.

In other news....I am now a GOLD MEMBER....YAY....

Day 31. I started feeling very sad this morning knowing that he will not be there with me to celebrate the New Year, but then I reminded myself that things were not going well between us and that I am better off alone.

It has been officially over a week since he left and I have had no problems with NC. I went out with a friend last night to keep myself busy, but she had just broken things off with her boyfriend, so it I was only feeling worse after our visit. I am feeling like I need some solitude and not in an unhealthy way. I think I am trying to keep myself busy and active because thats what everyone says you should do, but I just feel like I want to be alone and think about how to take care of myself, instead of just avoiding the situation by surrounding myself with people who are trying to convince me that I will be OK. I know I will be ok, so I just want to be alone and do the work....any thoughts?

Of course it is ok to be alone. If you feel that it is best for you to work on yourself alone right now, then just do that....Most people tend to get very depressed after a break-up so that is why some people need to be around friends at all times. You are actually very lucky that you can be alone.

Day 28. I am starting to feel like I am single again. I am starting to think that I will probably never see him again. His friends finally stopped emailing me. I am sad.

I completely agree with this. That is exactly what I am doing, and it is day 27. Keep up the good work, and things will get better.

Day 26. He texted me on XMAS at midnight, but I did not respond. It felt horrible and liberating at the same time.

Please do not send this email to her. Please start No Contact and try to stick to it. The more you contact her, the longer it will take to move on.

This is a good post. Please look at it again whenever you feel like contacting her, and stop yourself from contact.

Day 20. Almost 3 weeks, wow....this is really cool.

Day 18. I can't wait to go home for the holidays and be with my family again.

DAY 17

Things are getting better.

thanks for the kind words....

its extremely hard... 3 years just ended in a flash..

I'm still shocked I actually left with just 2 boxes of clothes....someday i'll have to go get all my stuff but i'm not ready to go back just yet.

i need more time to heal!

Actually, you can just get more stuff. I left a ton of things at my ex's and I do not care if I see the stuff again.

Pretend like they were burned in a fire or stolen....Just stay away and stay strong.

Day 14. He left me a message last night at 1am, that he wants to talk.

Of course, I am not calling back.

But it is not day 1, it is day 13, and before the email, it was day 12, so rather than counting days, I focus on me. Going to the gym, going to work, looking for better work, talking to friends, focusing on me.

My No Contact means that I do not contact him. If he contacts me, I do not count that as contact because I have no control over his actions but I do have control over mine, just like you have control over yours.

Are you really in Boston? It is snowing by the way....

day 1 try number 3.....

 

What are you talking about?

I have not had contact with him in 13 days.

He tried to contact me but I am not contacting him.

My problem was that I always contacted him first. Now, I am not EVER contacting him, but he cannot seem to understand that.

Day 13. After getting his email yesterday and not responding to it, I feel very strong.

Day 12. I think I am better. I have a job interview today. Wish me luck....

He sent me an email and a text today. Does that count? I am not answering him, so technically I am still in No Contact from my end.

Day 11. Not doing so great today. I got reprimanded at work for not answering the phones fast enough. Oh well....at least I am not calling him either.