Jalys

Hey there J,

 

Someone gave me an awesome piece of advice and I feel this applies to your situation....

 

"Expectations are premeditated resentments."

 

Once I stopped placing expectations on others, my life became more simple and less frustrating. I understand your logic in wanting to know she is okay and to say hi but she is a big girl, she can take care of herself. It sounds like she is does not place as much value on making phone calls and whatnot.

 

What I would try is to stop contacting as much as you have. Because the more you put in and the less she gives, makes you more frustated and angry. So try a different approach, do not call as much and see where it goes. I wish all the best. Take care.

Thanks Kell. I try to. I know everybody is different. She was at a concert last night, she sent me a text message on my mothers phone, but didn't get the message 'till after 8:30pm (10:30 her time) it bothered me the fact that it took her so long to send me the message, I just sometimes feel so left out. I'm alone most of the time, and unable to go out (long story) this sucks hehe.

Maybe she doesn't have a chance to contact you because you are always doing it first (so she is always responding to this) Maybe I'm different, but if I was her then I'd be feeling a little "crowded" by all this constant contact business. A wee bit clingy? I'm a guy though...

How long you two been together? I'm guessing less than six months...

'Constant Contact Business?' don't quite get it. Like I said, I normally text her once or maybe twice a day (and we rarely speak on the phone) I'm in a LDR relationship mind you, its not a matter of trust. And I have absolutely no idea how she is. I'm guessing she might be out with her friends or something, but still, I can't help but feel worried.

Is it really too much to ask to let your loved one know, to at least let you know once a day how is she/he doing?

It bothers (but mostly worries) me to no extent when my gf doesn't send me at least one message (via email, text, or call) through out the entire day to let me know shes's ok. Normally, when it hits 10:00pm its when I really start getting worried. I mean, I know she has a life, I normally send her one or two texts a day (or emails) three when I'm getting worried, four when I'm about to freak out. But damn, what the hell?!? I'm about to freak out, its past 10:00pm and I haven't heard from her. I talked her about it before, its not like she doesn't know. And also, I'm always making the calls, why doesn't she calls me at least once a month? would be really nice...

Well...you are very brave. And yet...jesus. I hope you don't end up on the streets.

Not likely

Wow, um, I'm speachless... and I'm not your boyfriend! very nice.

I would personally feel leftout. Though I can't stop her from going out with her friends and have fun. Trust plays a big role. But so does consderation for your partner.

I wouldn't feel comfortable going out partying with my friends without inviting my girlfriend 1st, at least for consideration, even tough I knew she was not going.

Never actually believed it. As a matter of fact, I became skeptical and refused to believe. But now, with my gf, I'm beggining to believe. She told me several times. That we are/or could be soulmates.

Tell her how you feel. Tell her that you get a bit 'worried' when she goes out drinking with her friends. Not that you are telling her to quit drinking all toguether, just that you get worried something might happen to her.

I wish you luck. She must be special!

Yes she is, very much.

Great persepctive Dako.

 

Jalys - I have a feeling you'll be ok too. Best of luck to you.... sincerely. Wil you keep us posted?

Ta ree saw - Sure, will do.

Wow!

 

So you're giving up job, home, everything to show up on a doorstep without money, future plans or alternatives?

 

What's the lucky girl going to do with you?

Money I have, though not as much I would liked. I've been unemployed for two weeks now (contract terminated) we do have plans, I'm just a month earlier than expected.

I've been submitting resumes for close to 3 weeks now. Job shouldn't be a problem as I'm up to take any that comes my way (except selling drugs Hehe)

Not sure how to feel. I've been very stressed for the past week, lack of sleep has forced me to take sleeping pills at night. I think I'm on my way to perhaps make the biggest mistake of my life... or perhaps not.

The problem is that I bought a one-way ticket to see my gf, but the worst part is, I have nowhere to stay. I have enough money to sustain myself for a good while, I could rent a motel room for a night or two, but after that, I have no where else to go. I do have family there however, but I'm not sure if I should bother them by asking if I could stay.

I'm very stressed, worried, and whatnot. But I think its too late, I already made the decision and its up to me to face the concequences. Perhaps, once I see my gf, and finally have her in my arms, it'll be all worth it. But in the back of my mind I can't help feel worried, though I know I'll survive somehow.

...

Perhaps need your insights...

Audrey, you're not alone. I often feel the same as way you do... I'm not afraid to admit it. Sometimes I think this whole 'situation' is unfair. The yearning and fustration is almost unbearable. Sometimes I feel like giving up, but then I remind myself why am I doing this. Ultimately, the pain, yearning, and fustration will all be worth it. I've always believed, that if its destined to be, it'll be regardless. Be strong, stay hopeful. I know its easier said than done, but at least you know, you're not alone.

Si esta destinado a suceder, sucedera como de lugar.

Its comforting that I'm not alone as far 'missing' your loved one is concerned. I miss my gf terribly I admit, its been the two most miserable months of my life... But I keep going strong and fighting for what I believe in. Nunca me dare de por vencido. Aun en los momentos mas arduos.

As far as friends - do you actually have 0 friends? I find that very difficult to believe.

That's actually true. No friends here, all are overseas.

Well Jays...go with her to those parties too, if you don't like it you can leave but it might make you feel better...

Erm... wish I could. She lives overseas.

Ever since I lost my job, I've been very distant. I felt all my hopes and dreams came crashing down. Lately, I lack the motivation to talk to my gf, I simply don't feel like it.

Also, I can't help feeling awful and leftout when she goes out with her friends and party almost every weekend (and tells me all the fun she had) while I sit at home with nothing do to, nowhere to go, no friends to hangout, nobody to talk to (I don't have a car) I feel like a * * * *ing caged animal. Sounds pathetic I admit.

Just venting I guess...

I'm getting a little choked up here!!!

 

That is the sweetest thing ever!!!

 

(not really about to cry but it truly is a beautiful idea!)

Thanks

I think that is a great idea. Will you mail one out a day?

Yes, one a day for the entire month. 31 letters.

Thanks I plan to write her a letter every day for a month, 'till we see each other again.

Not sure if I posted this in the right forum but...

How would you feel about receiving written letters (snail mail) from your boyfriend? Sweet? Thoughtful? Indiferent?

Your opinion?

Not materialistic at all. Personally, I really don't care much about money, its just that I would like to do things right, and what I mean by right is to have enough so we could get some things for the apt like furniture, etc. plus able spend a nice christmas as well. I don't know, I'm stressing to much about this, I'm wearing myself out...

I refuse to spend any kind of money, even for much needed pair or underwear briefs, I barely eat, I ride the bus, etc. I might get a part time job in the meantime, but like I said, I'm not sure how long its going to take me to find a job. I only have a month left, anything is better than nothing, but still... I have enough money for 6 months worth of rent (I'm moving with my gf) I just would've like to have more like I originally planned. What worries me is the hardships we may have to face, althought we talked about it, and agreed that is not going to be easy at 1st, but still, just would like to make things a bit easier, and not make the same mistake again (although theres quite a bit difference between now and then, back then didn't had money at all)

Just a brief note, heres my story

Ever since I lost my job ... I've been in a constant state of worry. I'm lost, confused, just trying to make sense of it all, I had so many plans Don't know what to do, I only have a month left to make some extra money, and I wouldn't want to stay longer, not sure if I could handle this distance (LDR) any longer than we proposed ourselves to.

Not sure how long it will take me to find a job, even a minimum wage job that would only cover the airplane ticket costs. My gf is pretty calm and positive about it all, not sure how she can do it. I wanted to have enough so I could get her something special for christmas... god damn that freaked me out when I remembered today. At least I have enough for 6 months worth of rent (apt is cheap, so its not that much) and some extras.

I'm sarting to send resumes overseas, hoping I could get a job before I get there (that would be perfect!) other than that I been overly worried about it all, I admit I have little motivation (maybe a little bit of depression) but I force myself do what I have to do. Not sure, I guess I need some insight (again)

When it all comes down to it, I might end up following my heart, and hoping for the best. Facing the hardships to come toguether.