Deviant_Kate

LOL, have you ever seen the episode of "Sex and the City" where Samantha returns her "neck massager" to the prestigious store and makes a big fuss about it being a vibrator and then gives all the patrons shopping for "neck massagers" a quick lesson is which ones work best?

 

Great idea!

How about when Miranda's baby vibrator seat thing dies while Samantha is babysitting, so she puts the "neck massager" in the baby seat?

As much as it sucks for kids to go through a divorce, it sucks just as bad (or worse) to live with parents who are miserable.

My parents have been married for 26 years and they've been unhappy together for as long as I can remember. ALL of their five children are MESSED UP from growing up in that environment. I have a near-crippling anxiety disorder courtesy of my parents, my older brother is a recovering cocaine addict with 2 kids he never sees, my sister just had a baby with the guy she was sleeping with while her boyfriend was in jail for drugs, my little brother is insecure and angry all the time and thinks it's fun to shake kittens like tambourines, and my little sister just had her first pregnancy scare at FIFTEEN!! I'm the only one over 18 that went to college, that doesn't smoke, that has MOVED OUT and NOT come back, and that doesn't have unplanned children.

We could be a case study in favor of divorce. Divorce is, by far, not the worst thing that could happen to your kids.

I don't know what it was that made me the most emotional, intelligent person in my family, but I also happen to be the only gay one, and the only happy one. I've been open about my sexuality to myself and my family and friends since I was 18, and it's 30 days until my 3 year anniversary with the girl of my dreams. So...90% of the happiness I'm blessed with is because I'm living the life that feels right for me, and I don't let my family or society dictate who I get romantically involved with.

The other 10% comes from my good grades

That much drama at 15? I didn't have "cheating drama" till I was 18.

I was 19, and I was the one who got cheated on. And I had WAY better grammar than the teens who so frequently post here about their crazy sex lives...

I got a cold AND had a business conference to go to last weekend, and the stress made me 3 days late. Don't freak out just yet. You're probably fine, and you should just put it out of your mind until midterms are over. The day after I got home from my conference and had some time to mellow out, I got my period.

"Wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?"

That one is courtesy of my disgusting friend D.J.

I kind of know what you mean. I feel like the emotional bond and the closeness I have with my girlfriend is more intense than any relationship I could ever have with a man. It only makes sense that the emotions run just as deep during a break up.

And as women, I think it's more difficult for us to cut contact after a relationship dissolves. So you never give the wound a chance to heal - you just rub salt in it all the time by talking to or seeing your ex. If you can't get over her, the best thing to do in my opinion would be to sever all ties. I know that's not possible in some situations (you work together, you share children, or you have all the same friends, same hang outs, etc...), especially after sharing your lives for 7 years, but it's worth trying if you're able to.

It was so much easier for me to get over my ex once we stopped trying to be "friends."

kinda misionary, but with my bum off the bed with one leg up at his shoulder and the right one wrapped around his bum...

 

helps if you put a pillow under...

I love that one. Well...the gayer version of it, anyway.

The "safest time" is when you're using condoms. And preferably some form of hormonal birth control.

Your sex life is your business. There's nothing wrong about not telling your mom right away. You don't have to be the one to initiate that conversation - just don't lie if she asks you, and don't dodge the issue if it just happens to come up in casual conversation. There's nothing dishonest about keeping your personal life personal.

I cant help but agree...my brother has Asperger's syndrome, and I can't imagine how out of control he would be if he was drinking. He's already somewhat loud and completely oblivious to social rules...I could see him making some serious mistakes. If you're anything like my brother, alcohol might be something best left untouched.

When I was 18, the idea of being with a woman sexually seriously grossed me out. My friend had a crush on me, and I told her I didn't think I could ever be with a woman, but I found myself attracted to her.

I thought "well, I'm not bisexual, 'cause it's not like I'm typically attracted to women - just this ONE girl."

Sounding familiar?

Fast forward five years and several girl and boy crushes later, and I'm a self-declared bisexual with a strong preference for women, and very happy with it.

So I wouldn't rule anything out just yet if I was you. And 100% straight is obviously not a good description of you if you have sexual feelings for this girl. Maybe you're 95% straight.

"But I'm a Cheerleader" is a gay-themed romantic comedy. I can't say it's necessarily going to have a profound emotional effect on you, but I think it's hilarious.

I'm going to generally disagree with everyone else and say if you both want to go for it, you should go for it. Safe sex for experience between two consenting adults is fun. As long as you're both clear on the terms then I don't see a reason why not to.

The key word being ADULTS, which they AREN'T.

How exactly does the "excitment" stage stop? Sex should stop anyway if both parties arent getting into it, thats how the dreaded resentment starts otherwise.

 

I dont know, maybe my sex life is different to most. If I start cooling down (which is rare) then we stop actual intercourse for a while and fool about, just picking up the foreplay where we left off.

the "excitement stage" is one of the four stages of the Masters and Johnson's four-phase model of sexual response. It doesn't mean you're NOT excited through the entire act - it's just describing the first part. The stages are as follows:

Excitement

-uterus elevates

-vaginal lubrication appears

-clitoris engorges with blood

-labia minora and majora swell

Plateau

-uterus elevates further

-upper part of vagina expands

-vaginal wall forms orgasmic platform

-color of labia deepens

-clitoris withdraws under clitoral hood

Orgasm

-contractions in uterus

-rhythmic contractions in vagina

-rectal sphincter contracts

Resolution

-uterus lowers

-orgasmic platform disappears

-vagina returns to normal

-clitoris returns to unaroused position

(Human Sexuality: Diversity in Contemporary America , 5th Ed., Strong et. al. 2005. pp. 99, Figure 3.9: Masters and Jonson Stages of Female Sexual Response.)

I expect to be shown a nice, sweet (not necessarily expensive) Valentine's Day. I'd dump a guy who didn't, because IMO it shows INCREDIBLY bad taste especially in terms of a new relationship. Doesn't have to be fancy, doesn't have to be expensive. But it has to be personalized. A lovely walk with the dogs, a kiss, and "Happy Valentine's Day. I love you!" is all that's needed. But without that? Buh-bye.

 

Why? Because I feel if someone KNOWS it's at all important to me (and I have a right for it to be, just as anyone else has the right to hate it) then if he still insists on NOT celebrating for whatever reason, he isn't out to please me. A kiss and "happy V-Day" doesn't take much. If he wouldn't do that as a matter of principle, he can go be someone else's boyfriend.

 

If it IS an important holiday to you, I agree that your S.O. should acknowledge your feelings and make the tiny sacrifice of saying Happy Valentine's day. Not celebrating should be a mutual decision - if Valentine's day was important to my girlfriend, I would get her roses and chocolates. It just isn't that way with us. And since her birthday is only 9 days after V-day, she's not missing out. I spoil her rotten.

I won't deny that I love the idea of being given a poem/card, flowers, a diamond( ), ect. Its romantic and who doesn't want to feel adored? But when you are expecting it or hold it over someones head like they "should" do it, its no longer romantic. In my opinion anyway.

EXACTLY! Hit the nail right on the head.

I've never celebrated myself either, other than sending e-cards to my single friends. But I fail to see why you're so upset. Do you get this upset at every holiday? Or do you have a problem with little, red hearts? Companies go all out on holidays.. whether it's Christmas, Halloween, V-day.. It gets more and more rediculous every year. But I think it's nice to have one day in the year dedicated to romance.

If I only dedicated one day a year to romance, I'd expect my girlfriend to dump me.

Valentine's day is a corporate tool and it's probably broken up relationships because someone failed to celebrate appropriately. It's a load of crap, and it's borderline cruel.

Of course I don't get upset at every holiday. What a ridiculous question.

I also think that it's sweet that you and your girlfriend simply express yourselves in different ways.

Could you post a picture of you and your girlfriend hugging?

 

We don't have a digital camera, so the only good pictures of us together are 35 mm. I'll see about scanning them somehow. My favorites are the kissing pictures.

I feel like my girlfriend and I are the only people in the world who don't do Valentine's Day. All the prepackaged, heart-shaped gifts and red and pink everything just annoy the crap out of me, and it really irks me that there's this one day per year that I'm REQUIRED to show my love through candy and flowers.

Suddenly, how much you love someone is measured by how much you spend on them or how all out you go on this specific day of the year, and you're a jerk if you don't get the perfect gift, and you're just expected to do something special because it's the middle of February. How much sense does that make?!?!

I'm offended by the implication that I need a holiday to remind me to love my girlfriend. I celebrate my love EVERY DAY by expressing it through little things, like hugs and kisses, doing the dishes, taking her out to dinner just because. I make a HUGE deal out of her birthday, because I'm SO GLAD she was born! We celebrate our anniversary, because we're SO GLAD we had the good sense to start dating each other. But I don't see what St. Valentine has to do with our relationship...

Is there ANYBODY who's with me on this one?

I've had a few tears well up after particularly intense orgasms two or three times, but actual crying, no. It's the same kind of teary-eyes I get if my girlfriend does something incredibly sweet. Happy tears.

Well I'm curious. For example, if my girlfriend had one (i'm not sure if she does), is the "toy" better than a guy's real thing? Now I'm kind of worried, lol.

I wouldn't worry. I think just about anybody would prefer the real thing to a toy.

I'm not sure if most women have toys, but most women I know do, or wish they did. I've actually given a vibrator as a Christmas gift, and I received one for my birthday this year. That brings the tally to 5, although we've never used one of them. I might eventually have to retire the toy drawer in favor of a toy chest.

Kate~you are right on!!

Thanks! I'm glad you and FoxLocke agree.

Ive always wanted to pull up along the highway somewhere deserted & just do it under some hay stacks or something, maybe an old abandoned house somewhere.

Thought about doing it this weekend, but it was too cold.

Keep a blanket in your trunk! Abandoned houses can be pretty gross inside - the floors especially. I've seen them with moth balls all over the floor, and leftover messes from drug addicts. Be careful!

having sex in water, aka a tub, is not fun at all. There is no lubrication and it is harder to do it. I tried having sex with my ex in a large tub once and it didnt work out real well.

 

I've found that if there's adequate foreplay, there's enough natural lubricant to do the deed in the tub - that stuff can stand up to the water pretty well (in my experience). The positioning is pretty difficult though...

(I read another statistic that only about 60% of couples have sex on their wedding night).

I'm not terribly surprised. In this day and age, most people have had sex with their spouse before the wedding, so there's no psychotic rush to have sex for the first time, and I imagine a wedding takes a lot out of you, energy wise. If I had a long exhausting day, I would rather spoon than fork...