lostjeff

Be brutally honest please. Since I have never done of the typical teenage/youth things that we are bombarded with on TV (and real life).

Here's the things I've never done. Never as in never.

 

holding hands, touching, hugging, kissing (both tongue and 'regular'), sex.

 

I'm not really looking for advice on how to do these things since it's 5-10 years too late anyway. I'm 22. But if I get a woman, and she finds out these dark secrets, how repulsed will she be? Is it possible for me to hide the truth?

 

EDIT: Yeah but I haven't even done the non-sexual stuff that most people do when they're 13-14. Making out for example.

I haven't even done any of those things either. And I am 27. I have been to college at the undergrad and grad level, both in college towns with lots of young people. Sometimes I wonder if dating and relationships are even possible. It seems that girls have placed an embargo on me. Like you, I am hopeless. :sad:

Every Sunday Night my coworkers go out to karaoke but every time I go with them I wuss out. I am nervous for two reasons:

1. I don't know that many songs

and

2. I am anxious about singing in front of other people

Does anyone know any good resources for learning karaoke music, or can you suggest any songs? Also what do you do about being nervous in front of other people? I think that by wussing out I am simply pertetuating and exacerbating the situation...they want me to sing even more every week we go out.

At the previous place I worked at I basically formed a massive crush on a girl I worked with. I asked her out and she politely said that she didn't date coworkers, and the situatlion became rather awkward. Well I learned my lesson from that experience and now I am at another place and once again there is a girl I like. We work at a bookstore, and I work there only 1 or two days a week. We hardly see each other in fact. Shes the smart, dorky type of girl and I am attracted to...but once again we are coworkers. She is friendly towards me but not overly so. I think I am going to try to talk to her more and see what her reaction is, but not ask her out because I don't want to make things awkward like I did before. Sigh...

With all due respect to Luke, I think you can find your answers here without being sold a bunch of crap that will just land you back here again. Buying books about turning you in to Rico Suave isn't the answer, learning how to be yourself and have confidence is.

 

RC

I agree wholeheartedly. Those sites are crap. I was a member of one of them for years and I gained nothing from it. It's a waste of time. Your best bet is to avoid the computer as much as possible and go outside.

Yep, I'm from California, where learning another language is not required in our school system or encouraged by society.

Girls, if you had studied or knew a foreign language and were pretty good at it, would you date a guy who didn't speak it? What if he wanted to learn someday but couldn't at the moment? Would you look down on the monolingual men out there??

I think it's funny how some of the posters here claim they would date themselves because other people seem to like them.

Well this is obviously a question about whether you accept yourself, not whether others accept you.

Saying that, I wouldn't date me.

Unfortunately I live in the US, and I have no financial aid beyond loans. And taking out more loans is out of the question right now.

Public policy can be very practical if you make it so... I have a feeling it's probably not for you though, as you seem very frustrated with it. I think you should go into a different grad program you'd enjoy and find more practical. What are your interests, and what are you good at? Would you consider journalism or teaching? What do you picture yourself doing? Or go completely outside your scope of study -- do you like real estate, stocks, finance? is that more 'practical'?

I'm 26 and I am still not sure what I like. I think I would be happy if I had a beautiful girlfriend I could make love to every night. But I guess that isn't a career.

Hey Jeff-

 

Why don't you go back for a second bachelors? A friend of mine who was 36 years old went back to school because he didn't like his career outlook with his geology degree. He went back for a computer science degree and has a good career now. Figure out something you don't consider to be BS and go for it.

Because earning another BA is a waste of time. It's admitting that you wasted 4 years earning something you will never use. College is not a vacation, it's supposed to be a place where you become a well rounded educated individual while preparing for an occupation.

I would strongly consider law school if I were you. You can pm me if you want to know why I feel that way.

I considered law school, and I think law is interesting, but law school is way too expensive. I am 26 and I need a good career now. And the degree I am persuing now I can afford and pay off as I go without taking any more loans.

Besides I have heard horror stories about law school. People who graduate and can only find paralegal jobs with 100K of debt. Or who drop out or graduate and realize they don't want to practice law after all.

It just doesn't seem like a viable option now. If I do persue it, it would be an evening program while I work full time and pay as I go. What do you think about part time programs, Bayta? Thanks for your help BTW.

I just wanted to ask - if you majored in history and education, were you interested (PER CHANCE) of being a history teacher? If so, at what level? Elementary, high school, college (need a phd for that, right?)

Yeah I did at one time, but then I discovered that teachers don't make very much money and don't get very good raises. My dad is a teacher and he gripes about it all the time. Besides, working with kids is fun, but it's exhausting, and I think I would rather work with professionals. History teachers aren't in demand either.

I am such a * * * * * * *. When I went to college I didn't persue a foreign language, or learned economics, or majored in engineering or science or business. I floundered and majored in history and education.

I should have been practical...learned a language, or engineering like my cousin who makes 60K+ and hes younger than me. I wasn't practical until I saw the impracticality of my life. I do want to learn a foreign language badly now, because I felt passionate when I took a french class a few years ago. And I felt less ignorant and more worldly.

When I realized that I had a B(ull)S( * * * *) major with no real skills, I decided to do what my friend was doing and try to get into City Planning, which doesn't require those skills. It's a public policy type of job that deals with the built environment of cities and regions.

I started this with the expectation that I would get a secure job that wouldn't be outsourced and could make at least 50 thousand to begin with.

So I decided to persue a masters in City Planning. Well I still feel like this is a bunch of BS, and I am not learning anything useful, and I don't know why I am here doing what I am doing anymore. I still don't have any real skills that can really do or make anything. I feel like a fraud and a fool for paying so much money and my precious time for a piece of paper saying I am competent for a lame * * * policy job.

man just go out and join clubs and stuff. do sports like boxing, martial arts or muay thai, travel with a package where u go in groups. volunteer even, join a charismatic christian community, join a gym. Man just do more things and you'll meet other people. its just getting out there and not caring what other people think but make sure your not offending anyone.

keep improving man!!!!! i was shy too, but im improving, building up my slef esteem and stuff. that was a year ago and im so happy i made that decision to tackle it.

 

all the best

Man, I went to the gym for the past year and I didn't make any friends. I made aquaintances. Those are easy. But friends? It seems impossible, and the only girls who will socialize with me are the ones with a ring on their finger.

I can make a whole list of things I want to do or learn, and meeting people and making aquaintances would be an easy, ancillary objective. But friends? Hardly anyone wants to be friends, because they don't have time or the inclination. How can I make friends with people??

You want help in meeting girls? I highly recommend the dvd's at link removed. The ebook is good too, but the dvd's are outstanding. Also check out

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Those sites are some of the most gayest sites on the net. Yes, there are nuggets of inspiration in some of them, but the vast majority of it is crap and a waste of time.

I'm 26 and I only have a few friends! I just can't believe this...I spend almost every weekend alone or with family. I have 2 or 3 good friends, and a bunch of aquitances, but man, I feel like I am missing out on so much. This can't be life. There is no spontinaity, no stories. Life seems so pointless. My one good friend tells me about all the times he's hooked up with girls, how hes gone to parties, and how he has buddies all over the place. I see people together all the time around me, talking about things. People on their cell phones, talking.

Well, * * *, am I some kind of freak? I haven't even kissed a girl. And he's 3 years younger than me. I have been avoidant in the past, but I'm getting better. I am being more sociable, but I still have almost nothing. Almost no network. Just a few friends on myspace, and only a few of them respond to my mesasges. I am not sure if I should even go to my high school reunioun. The few people I know there will probably not know me, because I was shy back then and a nobody. Where do I go from here?

Ah well, I changed my mind. Just a rant I guess.