NoNameHere

Mostly because I'm still dependent enough on my family thanks to my social issues that I'd most likely need their help finding a therapist and, if I asked them for help, they'd undoubtedly want to know why I was looking for one. I don't think it takes a lot of explanation why I don't want to tell my family about this problem. That can't really end well for me.

I do tend to watch violent porn, yeah. But I've had these fantasies since before I really knew what porn was and had only the most rudimentary understanding of sex, so I don't know how much the porn itself comes into play here.

Thanks for the kind words, but I'm quite sure you wouldn't be saying such supportive things if you knew me in real life. Whatever good qualities I've got are typically outweighed by the bad ones. Namely me being incompetent, even when it comes to activities I'm passionate about.

That might be some of the worst advice I've ever heard.

I'm not really into causing severe physical harm, if that's what you mean. The most violence I use during my fantasies is just to subdue them. But they are usually still begging me to stop and showing clear signs of not wanting sex.

Not for this issue, no.

For Proper Context: I've been having rape fantasies about various women I'd consider attractive since I was thirteen. Don't really know why. I don't have some deep hatred for women like I'm forced to assume many actual rapists have, but my fantasies of violating them still persist. I'm currently nineteen, turning twenty this September, and have failed every effort I've made to repress them without therapy. In other news, I've also never had a girlfriend since my social skills are awful and, speaking bluntly, I'm kind of a pansy regarding girls I'm into. I'm too worried about making myself appear idiotic to take a chance with flirting. But I'm also forced to wonder if my rape fantasy issues are a sign that I shouldn't pursue dating/sex at all. I'm not tempted to actually rape anyone, but I still think their overall presence makes some unsavory implications about my mental state. Especially since I come from a family where most of the women have been sexually abused during their youth. I've seen the long-term impact that kinda thing can have. It's not pretty. And if(by some miracle)I ever did find a girlfriend, I think I'd feel obligated to tell her about this if we got serious. Can't imagine many girls wanting to stay with me after that. I'm already a socially inept Autist who's best chance at dating is likely finding a partner with low self-esteem. This feels like it'd most likely create a wider array of issues, frankly.