threebutterflies

10 hours ago, TeeDee said:

Your mother is mistaken.  Well educated woman find quality partners.  It may be a tad harder because the pool of men is smaller but that is no reason to settle.  

FWIW I have a big deal terminal degree.  I dated lots of men with that same pedigree.  It didn't make them better people, BFs or lovers.   When I met & married my husband he hadn't even graduated from college & was going to school on line.  While I have more sheepskins to hang up that has never adversely effected our relationship.   All of my friends from school, both undergrad & grad school are happily married.  As long as you don't laud your education over someone's head, your level of education should not be the driving predictor of your love like.  

Your BF is nuts to take on more debt without a plan.   Whether you stay with him or not, do at least one last motherly thing for him & talk him out of getting a Masters he doesn't know he wants.  Encourage him to get a job.  Whatever you do, do not pick the school to get your Masters based on where he's going.  

Your life is at a transition point right now.  You know things will change after graduation & that has you a bit on edge.  Change is scary, even good change.  Go easier on yourself. 

You know in your heart that your BF is not your future husband at least not as things stand.  Listen to yourself, not your mom.  

He is lucky, he got a scholarship, so he wouldn’t be in debt. And actually, he was offended that he is not a consideration to what school I pick. I got a really nice offer to an out of state school which is close to the university we go to, and he told me he would still like to see me. 
 

I feel we may grow apart if I go to a different school 

@poorlittlefish I agree. I haven't been the nicest to him either because I was frustrated, and she knows that and thinks that I am the problem, and that I am self sabotaging because I don't realize how good he is.

thank you so much for your valuable input-- i definitely need to listen to my gut more. i'd also like to add we are together for a bit more than a year

I am 22 years old, and my current bf is 21. We will both be graduating with our bachelors after this semester and we had a number of fights recently. Long story short I am frustrated with him. I find a lot of his behaviors to be very immature. I feel like I am his mother sometimes. But.. on the other hand he is overall kind and caring to me. Just very naive. And I know I can't change anyone so I am at a loss of what to do.

I feel like I want a man who is more self motivated. He would be getting his masters because I want to get a masters degree... he told me that is the only reason why he is pursuing it and he doesn't really know what to do after he graduates. Which is sweet. but i personally wouldn't do that. 

I have met his family before, a couple of times, and his father was so upset during both of those times, and according to my bf, it had nothing to do with me. But it wasn't a good feeling. 

What doesn't help is that my mother believes I would not be able to find anyone else, because I am going to pursue a grad degree, which will apparently make it harder for me to find a guy, since most men do not want to be with educated women. She tells me that no guy is perfect, and implied i should settle. Am I crazy for disagreeing?