Hi All. So for context with my current girlfriend, we've been together about 6 months. In the beginning, I was in the process of breaking up with someone else, and there was a bit of overlap with the two girls, about 2 weeks (I know I dragged my feet, but I was never sleeping with both of them if that makes it any better). My current girlfriend posted my picture in this facebook page called "are we dating the same guy" (I was not exclusive with either of them at the time but wasn't upfront about seeing others I guess) so she essentially "caught" me. And now she says she can't trust me, and it has brought a plethora of issues. I feel I am always under the microscope; she constantly interrogates me, during this she found out I lied about how long ago I ended my long term relationship (Was about 3 months, she tells me I said a year, which I don't even know if I said that, but I don't argue it) we go through this cycle of she wants to break up, she verbally attacks me and accuses me of things I haven't done, I shut down and start distancing myself for break up, then she wants to get back together.
Her emotions go up and down within minutes and it makes me feel crazy. She accuses me of still being in love with my ex, she thinks I'm having an affair with someone at work, she thinks I'm checking out random girls on the street. And I am constantly defending myself and explaining myself to a seemingly unreasonable girlfriend. Sometimes I wonder if she would still be this way, had I not lied to her.
I have acknowledged that I lied long ago and apologize frequently. I have really tried so hard to rebuild this trust between us. She says she forgives me, but then sometimes she says I am not doing enough. And around we go.
There have been some really unhinged moments, she calls me names, she tells me she wants me to "get mine" for lying to her. She threatens me if we were to break up. She's constantly putting words in my mouth. I feel like the guy that confesses to a murder that he didn't commit. Every time we go through these episodes, which seems weekly, I shut down more and more. It's tiring to constantly defend myself against things I never even imagined.
Is it unreasonable to want to end this? I really do love her; I think we are a great match when things are good. I just feel so beaten and bruised from all of this, I feel mentally unwell, I feel like I have been physically sick for the entire relationship. Am I going to feel this way for the entire relationship, I just don't know...
