Pianooooooss

So.......I just found out he's taken. The rejection makes sense now. 🙃

Thank you!

Perhaps I'll be more straightforward with other guys in the future, but for now, I'm willing to lay it to rest. Precisely for the reason someone said: I don't want to feed into any delusions and chase an uninterested guy. 😅

I can see that. But I think reaching out again trying to come up with another time would be a big weirdo move, lol.

I think if he was truly interested he would have followed up with another time, but I'm not stressed about it. Moving onward!

Yes, I definitely don't have regrets on doing it! I think I'm also proud of the inner work I've really tried to focus on lately. Old me would spiral and overthink and blame myself. Now I'm glad to let go but still practice confidence (even if took me several days and an internet forum to do it 😂).

Well, I just checked again. I thought he ghosted me, but he eventually responded (after like 8 hours). Said he's too busy to come to the event. I can take the hint. Oh, well! 🤷‍♀️

LOL! He ghosted me! I wonder if I came off too strong. Or something. Oh, well. Going to try real hard not to overthink about this...

Welp. I sent it. 🤪

I'm getting so much conflicting advice. Some people are like, "Ask him out very directly!" and others are like, "OMG, he's not interested, you're going to get played." 😕

So: "Hey, are you coming out to our art event tomorrow? I'm going to be tabling for [org name here], but afterward I'm going to chill and check out this restaurant I heard is good. You interested in joining?"

Thanks for the encouragement. Because I posted this on another forum and people are calling me obsessed and desperate. The only reason I feel the need to do this is what I said in the OP and that I'm on the clock during the event tomorrow (I'm tabling for an org) so I literally can't leave until the end. If he shows up at 11, leaves at 12, but I gotta stay there till 6, it's a bust. So, yeah. This is what I'm going to say. "Hey, are you coming out to our art event tomorrow? I'm going to be busy most of the day, but afterward I'm going to chill and check out this restaurant I heard is good. You interested in joining?" And totally leave the ball in his court then.

The only thing I can think of is a big art collective event we're having our event space tomorrow! But I'll be busy the whole day and it's not a 1:1 date thing. 😕 Wait -- maybe I can invite him to hang out after it ends at 6pm? Like, "Hey, are you coming out to our art event tomorrow? I'm going to be busy most of the day, but...." And then I don't know how to finish that sentence. 😂

Maybe a, "Thanks! Also, if you ever know another cool movie event or likewise, I'd love to go again!" Or is that too passive? I tried to find a cool local event to go to invite him to, but none looked interesting. Isn't it weird to go straight from talking about org recommendations to asking out someone for lunch? Yall gotta give me the words to say 😂😭

Okay...so, I did it. I just asked him what was the name of the organization and he came back right away with some names. He sounded friendly, but nothing that sounds like interest. I don't think he's out of my league or anything, but I'm really trying to reframe this in my mind as us both being on equal ground and me simply making the first move vs me feeling like a stalker hanger-on. 😕 How TF do I move the conversation forward now?

Oh, man! This is really bold. You gotta give me a script I can use. 😅

Eeek! There is something he mentioned at the movie -- a local org or something -- that sounded interesting and I need him to remind me the name of. Maybe I'll just ask about it and it snowballs into a conversation.

Let me explain. I run this little social-justicey event space and there's a guy who's been showing up to our events for the past 6 months now. He was just a cute acquaintance to me, until he flirted with me a bit at this movie event we inadvertently showed up at together, and now I want to get to know him more. Thing is, I've only seen him around at the pace of 1-2x/month, and things are slowing down at our event space, so if I just wait around, it's likely I won't see him for a long time. I'm trying to be more proactive in my dating life, and I just realized I have his contact on Signal and I could hit him up. But...I don't know *** to say or do. I only have his Signal contact because our book club group chat is on there. DM'ing and inviting him to a date 1:1 seems premature and too straight-for-the-gusto. There's also the thing of us being mere acquaintances that've only seen each other 1-2x/month...how do I not make this seem stalkerish or too forward? Help! TL;DR I want to get to know this guy more, but I don't see him often enough to wait on another IRL chance meeting. How do I DM him out of the blue to non-suspiciously initiate more 1:1 time?

Oh, well. Book club happened tonight and he showed up, but I didn't get a chance to ask and it wouldn't have been a good time anyway. He came with a (male) friend and it was thunderstorming like crazy. Urgh.

Oh no... 😞

Nice! But what if the book club is at night and you don't drink? 😅

I'm 26. He's 29. It's hard to tell these things sometimes! I never want to lie to myself, so I was also considering he could just be a touchy extrovert. 😅 I'm hoping at the next book club, there's some time just between the two of us at the end as there's been before. And I can say at the end of our convo: "Hey, I just want to be straightforward. I think you're cute and kinda want to get to know you more. Want to do something this weekend?" Is that...good? 🫣 And more importantly, what happened last week is the FIRST time something flirty happened between us. Is asking him right now too fast, too presumptuous?

I will say, I don't want to wait around for him to ask me out or hopefully show more interest. This guy has been attending our space since September. The whole push behind wanting to ask him is because I don't see this guy that often -- once or twice a month around this event space at most -- and I don't think I can rely on fate to just magically conjure more time between us. His flirting last week (and he was flirting...right?) was the thing that actually sparked my romantic interest in him, so I hope this goes well!

I (26F) run a little meetup space and there's a guy (29M) who shows up to one of our biweekly book clubs. He invited the club to a film screening elsewhere last week; it was a tiny theater, with only ~10 other people there, but I was the only one from our club who showed up. He sat next to me touching-arms-and-legs close, then I scooted away a few minutes later. (I liked it, but I got nervous, lol.) He casually touched me during our conversation, gave nudges at interesting things during the film and Q&A. And when someone mentioned our event space, and he did very dramatic and comfortable, “Hey, that’s you” elbow nudges. I think he was flirting, no? I later asked to walk together to my car since it was night, and at the end he gave a fist bump, which threw me off at first. Now, I'm realizing he was likely soft-launching showing interest in me, perhaps pulling back when it seemed like I wasn't reciprocating. Well, book club is next week. There's usually some time before or after when everyone chats after. What is something I can do to flirt back and show, "Hey, I'm actually into you too"? Or, how can I ask him out directly? I am a very late bloomer who needs help with these things. Also very nervous to do this! All help appreciated.