BabyBluePorsche

4 minutes ago, catfeeder said:

Especially when it turns into another bully thread. It makes me cringe.

OP, I'm sorry for the harassment you've received here.

It’s fine. It’s so easy for people to talk the most bull under the shadow of anonymity. I’ve taken none of it personal except the actual helpful responses 😁

Just now, Sindy_0311 said:

So essentially you are fishing for green light for you to approach this guy. But you masked it behind a “is he stalking me” topic. Please be honest 🙏

I never said he’s specifically stalking me, I asked about the behavior specifically. You’re taking my words too literally and my click bait title too seriously. No, I don’t think hes stalking me, but do not know how to perceive the behavior, which is fine, because it’s not a normal behavior. Put yourself in my shoes as to if some random person set their items up at the exit door as you were trying to leave. And if that wouldn’t concern you, well, makes me think you’d be the type to do something like that.

Just now, Sindy_0311 said:

I never commented on a joke… I did get the joke… when you quote someone please make sure you address to the person you quoted… 

I didn’t misquote anything, I just confused you with the other annoyingly dense person on this thread. My apologies. 

2 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

Gaslighting doesn’t work with smart people… take note… 

And shame doesn’t work on people who aren’t ashamed. If I felt ashamed doing it, I wouldn’t have mentioned it. 

2 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

Why did you want to know whether he was leaving with someone? What would you have learnt about him exactly? Sorry but I don’t get it. 

I just simply wanted an explanation as to why he was blocking the exit or just standing at the exit. If he was leaving with someone it would be more believable as to why he was waiting around and I’d not continue to think about if I could approach this guy if he’s with a girl. 

3 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

You said you waited for him to leave… and now you say your car was 3 minutes away. Walking 3 minutes usually doesn’t allow you to be close enough to see someone leave… 

Oh brother, imagine arguing this silly point. What are you out to prove? That I’m deranged myself? I can only imagine since you didn’t take a joke I mentioned seriously how literal you’re taking this. 
 

Second, yes it does. My gym is very small. We all use the same small parking lot so it’s quite easy to see who’s coming and leaving and you have to drive past the door to leave the area. This is all a 3-4 minute process. He was leaving as I was pulling off. Quite an easy process to see and most of the time I sit in my car a few minutes anyway after leaving, as does he. 
 

Stop trying to gaslight me into feeling a specific way about my response because if you’re are trying to prove me to be a stalker, he is indeed one too! Just strengthening my argument. 

1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said:

Does he have a crush on you? It's impossible from the description to determine why he had his stuff at the exit, but since you already like the theory that it was intentional in order to attract your attention, why not stick with that explanation?

Youre right. 

Just now, rainbowsandroses said:

Look, I posted my opinion based on what YOU wrote in your initial post.  There was no need to get so defensive about it.  

This is what you wrote in your initial post:

THAT is what I was responding to and if you want posters to think something differently then it would be helpful to provide more context.

So if someone is telling you they got molested and included a detail in there that made it seem like they asked for it, you will then shift the blame onto the victim? What a gaslight. Nowhere in my post was I rude or accusatory towards him I just asked for clarification not to deal with someone saying “well maybe you’re the stalker” well if I’m the stalker he’s an absolute nut job! 

2 hours ago, Coily said:

 Waiting to see if someone leaves alone is creeping into the stalker category. if the roles were reversed...

It really comes across like you just want this guy to ask you out or flirt with you since you have the hots for the guy. Since he's new to the gym, or at least that's how it reads; he may just be meandering around. Also since there is no real time frame mentioned here, is this over the course of a day? Week? Months?

It seems like you are more interested in him than the other way around.

 

So is setting up your *** at the exit for your gym crush to trip over. And if the roles were reversed, they wouldn’t be because I’d never do that. It’s funny because it takes me about 3 minutes to get to my car and leave so technically I didn’t wait for him, but I did want clarification as to why he was putting his crap near the exit. But of course, we have people like you who like to gaslight people for voicing concern. What a world we live in.

2 hours ago, rainbowsandroses said:

I'm envisioning this^ scenario and it actually sounds more stalkerish than anything he did, lol.  

To me, leaving his things by the exit so you'd have to step over them = him trying to get your attention.  

Why not just be flattered and say in a cute, flirty way something like "hey dude, whatcha doing leaving your things out like that, I could have tripped and hurt myself!" LOL with a wink and a smile?

Versus essentially spying on him to see if he left alone?  What the heck?

Considering how he kept following you around and staring and trying to get your attention as you were leaving, yes, I think he's attracted to you. 

And he wanted you to know it!  The subtle art of seduction.

Not all men are gonna behave the.'standard' way when encountering a new woman who is basically a stranger - talk to her and ask her out, especially while at the gym!   

JMO.  I've experienced this a few times myself.

 

 

First of all, he left right after me. It was not like I was waiting an extended amount of time for him to leave. Calling me a stalker for trying to figure out why someone intentionally blocked the exit while I was trying to leave and get an explanation on it? Weird. I didn’t say I wasn’t flattered I’d just think if I did this myself, my ideology is someone I’m completely obsessed with. 

2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

How exactly was he blocking the exit? Was he just organizing his stuff before he left? 

No, he was blocking the exit. There was no need for him to organize his stuff because he had just come from the locker room. I had to step over his items because he had them laid out over the exit path, then he had to move out of the way. It was obviously intentional 

3 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

He could just be one of these guys who goes to the gym for the scenery or to show off or whatever.

No he's not a stalker or red flag. He's not following you home, pestering you or even talking to you. Please remember it's a public gym and he has as much right to use it as you do.

The issue seems to be your crush and hoping he likes you. If that's the case, start some friendly small talk and eventually suggest a refreshment after your workout. 

 

While I agree he has the right to use it as much as I do, he does not have the right to block the exit while I am leaving intentionally even if it is to flirt. Fair use does not translate to “I can bother others if they are also in the space” I hope you are not meaning that. 

1 hour ago, MissCanuck said:

Wait, what?

Where is all this coming from? 

It was a joke, geez…

1 hour ago, Sindy_0311 said:

I think you are “stalking” him. Why wait to see whether he leaves alone? 
I would rephrase the title of this topic by: Does my gym crush like me? 
Look I also go to the gym, some guys approach me, try to engage, use the same machines, help carry heavy stuff, look at me, even one of them invited me and texted me on social media... etc… Guys do that, the gym is their knew chasing area. So unless your crush asks you out or tries to open conversation with you, don’t overanalyze the things he does. He might do the exact same things with other girls when you are not around waiting for one of them to talk to him… 

I’m stalking him is a laugh..I wanted clarity on why he set up at the exit, hun. I’m allowed to have that before I jumped to conclusions. Also, I’ve been going to the gym for 5 years now, and I know for a fact most guys in there are petrified of approaching women in there. 
And frankly, I could care less about if he was doing it to some other girl. I’m speaking for my experience. If a molester molests one girl are you gonna say “well he probably molests plenty of other girls” to discredit her experience? Typical.

1 hour ago, MissCanuck said:

What was the reason you thought of? 

Well I thought he was waiting on someone initially but he wasn’t. Then I thought maybe he was just doing a sacrificial ritual in the exit hallway that required him to spread out all of his belongings, and summon Cthulhu from the underworld to do his eternal bidding, but I ruled that out too. 

41 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

It is not "stalkerish" or obssessive, no. 

It sounds like he is working up the courage to talk to you. That's all. If you've ever seen truly obssessive behaviour, well, you would know that this isn't it. 

Meaning? 

Meaning, I thought of a reason he’d do that that had nothing to do with me. I know when people write stuff like this people like to tell them “well maybe it was a coincidence” so I thought that maybe he just randomly decided to set all of his items up at the exit of the gym, wait until I left to leave as well and leave with no one else, and I haven’t found an explanation 🤪

18 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

How do we know OP doesnt like the guy? Well if she liked him she would wrote “This guy set up his items at the exit. Does he likes me?”

People use “stalker” along with some other words way too much. If he was a stalker he would, I dunno, maybe follow you around town or something. Or in a newer time, maybe hound your social media. Like this, he is just some guy at your gym. Doing his rounds and maybe hoping you will notice him. Since we established you dont like the guy or feel comfortable in his company, maybe think about changing time when you go at the gym. 

Yes, maybe stalker wasn’t the right choice of words. I do think he’s cute but didn’t know how to perceive him doing that is all, or if it was a red flag. I’m also autistic so it’s hard to perceive things at face value lol, but I appreciate the input. 

1 minute ago, Jaunty said:

Has he spoken to you?  Maybe wait until you interact with him before trying to make sweeping judgements about his character.

So I’m not allowed to ask advice from what is presented? Because that’s all I simply did, I did not say he indefinitely was anything. 

So about 3 weeks ago a guy at my gym took interest in me. But ive noticed some of the things hes done are kind of very interesting..

-On the first day he pretty much followed me around the gym and was on every machine next to mine and was looking at me periodically. Like, i know that’s common. 
-On the way out he set up his items at the exit to the point I had to step over them to leave, and he just stood there. It was quite late so there weren’t a lot of people there and it’s a small gym so he could get away with it.

-Once I left, I waited for him to leave to see if he was leaving with someone and he left 3 minutes later, alone. He had no real reason to do that and never did it again. And I overthought it to oblivion.

 

I don’t know if this means anything of his character. Usually guys follow me around a bit in the gym but I’ve never had a guy go to this extreme to set up at the exit of the gym. We didn’t communicate because I’m quite shy and if I’m there and he’s there he will sometimes follow me around still the machines. He’s cute but I am nervous of the behavior lol..just shy or obsessive?