Met this amazing guy online (same country, a few hours apart) a long time ago. We've been closer friends for the past year and I didn't know it but he was interested in me for quite some time and slowly building up to making a move and eventually courting me. We have the most insane connection I've ever had in my life. It wasn't long before things turned more intimate and we can't stop talking for hours every night. Saying good night is incredibly hard for us.
At first I found it a little bit strange, he wanted to know literally every tiny thing about me, even all the details of my past relationships, which was pretty weird for me if I'm honest. I feel like not much good can come of it, the past is in the past and all that so I did feel a little exposed. We met in a heavily community based online game. Someone I used to be really close to and used to like but it didn't work out still plays as well. We're still friends, but I absolutely am not interested in him any more. My person did not like that and he strongly believes that it is inappropriate to be friends with exes and that it's basic etiquette to not be friends with an ex out of respect for your new relationship. I'm still friends with some of my exes including one from a couple decades ago. I've never been interested in going back with an ex, that would be like kissing my brother to me at this point because it didn't work out for a good reason, and plenty of my friends/family are still friends with exes as well. Not like I'd go hang out with them or anything but this one still happens to be in this community.
So anyways we were totally crazy about each other for about a month and then we had an argument over the ex thing. I fully understand it's a red flag to some people and I respect it and hope we can work through it together. He's withdrawn all affection towards me for the time being to 'protect himself' and I do respect it, however, I don't want to cut off anyone in my life for someone I've never even met! I'd love to meet him but he has some physical insecurities (I think he's freaking gorgeous and make sure he's very aware of that) so he's not ready yet.
So I've been pretty stressed out, he doesn't seem crazy about me like before but he's said he still really likes me and loves our connection, doesn't want to lose me and wants to spend more time getting to know me and see where things go. He hopes to see a future with me where we work it all out and he still thinks I'm very lovely. Still gazes at my picture from time to time and tells me that. But again it's confusing because he freaked out and thinks maybe he's not ready for a relationship yet because his reaction to the ex thing was that extreme, but then the next morning came to me and asked if we can just slow it right down and still spend the time. So that's how it's been for over a week now, he makes no sexual advances or affection because he was scared he just wants to enjoy the time with me and see if it blossoms. My mind doesn't know how to go back from him being absolutely crazy about me to completely withdrawing, but he still spends hours and hours with me every day, we have fun together but he also feels bad because I've been sad (sometimes I wonder if I should just run and heal from him but he really doesn't want to lose what we have either and he's worried about me pulling away too).
So yeah. Weird confusing situation where guy got freaked out over an ex and emotionally withdrew but still wants to move forward with me and spends many hours a day with me and loves our connection but I don't know what to do.
Sorry for long story and thank you for reading ❤️
