Helpless-homelife

It's the frustration that is getting to us. We're stuck, but you're right. We did agree to this. Adding to the frustration there is a clear solution but it doesn't appear to be an option

His parents financial situation happened before we got together 9 years ago. He told me early on in our relationship what he was going to do and to be honest, I don't think I really considered the ramifications it would have for us at 20 years old. Now we are down the line and the implications of that decision are biting us in the ass.

The house we live in is under my name so the mortgage is based on my wages, due to having a child now we can't borrow anymore money. Our house is worth more than we bought it for but the profits wouldn't get us more space in the area we live in

As I said somewhere else, it's more that we are stuck in a situation when we could afford another house had his parents house not needed to be purchased. I use one bedroom as an office as I work from home and also rum the books of his business from there. We would also like more children although I'm holding off on that for now.

Good advice but much much easier said than done lol. I think I'm going to have to have a big conversation with my husband!

Thank you!!

Thank you!!

I've raised the switch idea and my husband just says that we can live in this house until his parents are ready to leave. Then starts into "people have been raised with less" etc... which 100% they have but my husband and I have good jobs and if he hadn't bought their house we wouldn't be in this situation at all

They've lived there 30+ years, raised their kids there etc. I can see why they are attached to the house and I don't begrudge that. It would be a massive task to move! I can see why that impression could be made. I don't want to be the big bad daughter in law. But i feel like his mum and dad just don't see the situation from our perspective at all

Switching houses seems like the obvious thing to me but his mother doesn't seem to even consider the idea. Our marriage is fine I guess, we live fairly independently but I'm starting to think that not the great situation that I always convinced myself it was.

Honestly, I don't know what I want... I want us to be able to live in a house that suits us better but I also don't want to kick his parents into the street. His dad is 70 and his mum is 65. They don't pay rent, but his business covers their mortgage. My wage covers our house and he also contributes. Thank you for your thoughts on a counsellor, it may be a first step we need to take.

So a TLDR for the background of this story. My husband purchased his parents house when they got into financial difficulties and they continue to live in it. We then purchased a house under my name so that we could get a mortgage. For context his parents house is like 5 bedrooms with loads of space and our house is 3 bedrooms but not much in the way of space. We now have a child and are rapidly outgrowing this house but because he owns his parents house, we can't afford to buy a bigger house or expand this one. I feel like he doesn't listen when I talk about the situation at all. His mom doesn't say anything about it ever, has never mentioned it really and just general pretends that everything is fine. The problem is that his parents can't keep up with the size of the house that they live in. His mum keeps buying crap off the Internet and every room is filled to the brim with junk, they function out of the kitchen, living room, bathroom and bedroom and that's essentially it. I get that they have lived in the house for years and years but they have to see that they are drowning in it while we are tripping over ourselves in our house. Am I crazy for getting annoyed by this situation? It drives me crazy and I'm starting to think it will be the downfall of our marriage. A husband who won't stand up to his mother is always going to be a husband that won't stand up to his mother. Should I stay and try to figure out a way to be okay with it or should I make a move that will improve the homelife for my child and I?