Hi,
So this is long and complicated, I'll try to keep it somewhat short.
8 years ago, I had a midlife crisis at 50 and went out and found a very nice young woman, just 18 years old. She needed financial help and we came to an arrangement, it was not that much money per month but it worked... We have become friends, she has told me very personal stuff and I share most of my life with her. She is now 25 and just an amazing young lady. I had financial problems in 2019 and had to cut our arrangement in half and she was still good with that and still is.
I fell hard for her a long time ago and yes, can be in love with 2 women at the same time. To this day, we text each day and try to see each other once a week, sometimes we have alone time, but that has changed over the years, its just something quick and thats it, but we spend the afternoon talking and cuddling, which is ok with me.
She has had several male friends and someone she met during Covid, is 25 year older than her. She got engaged in October, doesnt wear a ring. I don't think she loves him, he takes care of her and she rules his world, so she is good with that. She never told me because she knows I dont approve of the age difference. I told her many times that yes, I am in love with you, but I would NEVER be with you because its not fair to you about our age difference.
She finally told me 2 weeks ago and I didn't believe her, she showed me the engagement photos and wedding invitations. My reaction was I am very hurt you didn't tell me, but if this is something you want in your heart, I fully support you. We are both good with this and she told me that nothing will change with us even after she is married.
She did have a rough time with some abuse from a family member and I think this is why she is like she is.
I have been having a very hard time with this, I love her so much, I need her in my life and I want her to be happy. I have anxiety that she will just stop talking to me and that will hurt me beyond belief.
I can not talk to any friend about this, they would never understand.
I can't break it off, I am so worried and have been about telling my wife about this, we have been married 35 years. But now she has something to lose so I am less worried about this.
So advise, support????
