Hello everyone. Thank you to everyone in this forum. Im at a lost what to do. My boyfriend (bf) and i are going through a rough patch. We started seeing each other June 2023 and became an exclusive couple Sept 2023. I thought things are going great when in November i called him and he was in a car with his friends. I asked him a couple days later, "Did your friends ask who you were in the phone with?". He said, "Yes. I told my friend she's someone i visit regularly in Vancouver.". That hurt me because that was the best he could come up with.
Ive never met any of his friends. His family is overseas. But no one among his friends and family (except his bestfriend) knows about me. He never took me to any of the Christmas parties he attended in December. Since November, we've been having fights weekly. It could be about not introducing me to his friends. Sometimes its about not spending enough time. When my mom wasnt here yet from overseas, he'd sleep over 1-2 times a week. He'd text at 1030pm and ask if he can sleepover then go home at 8am the following morning because we both had work. He's very family oriented and it took him some time to open up about his family and personal life. He's very private. He is also very shy. He cant even kiss me or hold hands while at the mall. But is very affectionate when its just us.
Mid January this year he heard from his family back home about a difficult family problem and since then, he's been feeling down. Not in the mood to talk or spend time together. It took him 2 days to finally open up to me what their problem was and i was happy he trusts me. Since then though and our frequent arguments, he said im negative. I asked him if we can have a day or time of the week to spend time together. He said "im busy Monday to Friday. Saturday i have basketball and Sundays are for church duties". So i said to him, "Then how about me?" He didnt say anything. He just keeps saying his mind is clouded because of his family issues. We argued a few days ago and i asked him why does he not want to spend time with me? He said,"and for what? We'll just fight". He said i trigger him. I told him it might be time then to end this relationship if all i do is trigger him. He then said i make him happy and said it a couple times. He said "ok Saturday morning we'll spend time". I said no more. He tried to hug and kiss me but i didnt want to anymore. I told him he acts like he can afford to lose me and he said no. I said i cant keep doing this when he doesnt seem to really want me and be with me.
the following day he's texting me as if nothing happened. I didnt reply to his messages for 3 days then finally told him i hope he finds someone who will truly make him happy. Because im not that person because he said i just trigger him.
We're still in touch. Its only been a few days since i said its time to end the relationship but he still messages. Im torn what to do.
