madsd

At that time I believed I was correct for the most part. I do understand I have made really horrible choices here. It is just weird looking back at everything.

I think I engaged in some of that before getting physical, but now I just suck and shut down. I haven't gotten tested yet but I am going to. No, I never would have dreamed this would have happened ever. Life is really weird. I don't know why he would intentionally destroy his life though. This isn't something you would brag about.

He definitely suspects, but I have been lying and just shutting down any conversation about it until I figure things out. My bil has no reason to get in the way of my marriage because the repercussions would be huge for him too. We have had sex.

I do want to stay married. My husband has suspicions but I haven't admitted to anything. I'm not sure what he thinks or thinks he knows. I agreed to stop seeing him for my husband

I just mean that I realized we have been in an emotional affair for a while before it got physical. By escalate I mean physical affair. We were too close and putting too much into each other instead of other things. I really want to pretend like it didn't happen so I can convince myself it didn't happen eventually because it is going to be really bad and impact many people who don't deserve it.

My husband (33) and I (26) have been together for 3 years and we have a baby together. This is kind of complicated and I am only just now realizing everything. My sister died 6 months ago. She has a 2 year old with my bil. I loved my sister a lot and we were really close. Her death was unexpected and devastating for our family. I tried to be there for my bil and niece. My bil and I work close so we had been spending a lot of time with each other. Whenever he would call and ask me for something I would always say yes no matter what it was and we got closer then we ever had before. I realize now I was majorly neglecting my own family for their family. Things with us escalated recently and my husband accused me of cheating on him. We had a long talk and I'm not going to be around him unless it is a family thing or for my niece. I haven't told my husband what happened because of how bad this is. I don't see me coming back from this. I am scared I will lose my niece. I don't know what was wrong with me or what I was thinking. Is this just something I should take to my grave or should I tell my husband? I feel an unbearable amount of guilt