My girlfriend of multiple years now has struggled with anxiety in the past (formerly on medication, not anymore). Relatively constantly throughout our relationship, she asks me why I hate/don't love her, particularly during periods when we are apart for longer than a few days. At first, I didn't mind telling her that it was ridiculous, and of course I love her because why would I be with her if not, etc. She has high self awareness – she understand that she just wants validation and love from me. Even though she's explained that, it started to make me feel bad for not being a good enough partner, etc. So I brought it up to her that it was mentally taxing for me when she says that, especially daily even after I send long romantic messages to assure her of my love. She profusely apologizes and cries, but continues to do it, sometimes even after a few days. We've probably had the conversation a half dozen times now, yet she continues to ask why I hate her. I want to avoid making her upset by bringing it up again, especially if she's not going to change in the future.
How should I tackle this? Should I take it on the chin and ignore how it makes me feel? Should I tell her again how it makes me feel bad when she says that? Or another approach? Thank you very much.
