Gf(24) and I(M26) have been officially dating for about 10 months. We met in late January 2023 thru dating app. Went official/exclusive in late February. Few days ago she received a text on her phone. Text was from a unsaved random number talking about how this person was thinking about her from when they met back April 2023 on a dating site, he called her sexy and also addressed her by her real name, so it wasn't a wrong number type situation.
I first asked her if she has ever cheated on me and she said no.(I asked this before telling her about the messages she just received) She said no she hasn't cheated on me. Asked again telling her she has one last chance. She said "no, never". That's when I showed her the texts she just got back from this person and she told me that she doesn't know the number and this guy must be from back when before we started talking/dating because she admitted to being on that site when single. But the text mentioned meeting(online) back in April, we went official in February!
Now because she lied to me, I asked her to let me see her messages. I typed in the name of the dating site in messages search bar. That keyword only appeared in her chats with her one friend(female).
These are the things I found (Dates of conversations between gf and friend are from April 17-18 and 22nd)
1st. (April 17-18) My GF texted her friend about 2 guys she met on the dating site. Referring to them as sugar daddy's. Texting one and Snapchatting the other. Looking at my gf and friend conversations it didn't go further than that, no more mentions of those two guys after the 18th. GF told me it didn't go any further than those two days and they never met up.
2nd. April (18) GF mentioning to friend how she "deep scrolling" on a cute guy's Instagram trying to see if he was single.
3rd. April 22nd gf and friends went to party/bar, some guys talked to them. Mentions in their groupchat that she has dibs on one of the guys. Gf got some guys insta, they messaged three times between each other and that's it.
No text messages or Snapchat from the sugar daddy's were found on her phone, so they got deleted. Only proof is from friends conversations. She said she never met up with them, and chats didn't go further than those two days. Nothing else suspicious was found in her phone, only that specific week of April.
Back in April she got molluscum contagiosum around her crotch/thighs/butt. I eventually got it from her, but mine appeared later in July. She said that she's sorry and never slept with anybody else, while we were together. But it's weird to me she got molluscum around same time she was talking to others. I don't know what to believe.
Overall she really is a nice loving person, I can tell she cares for me. But ever since I met her she has had depression and blames her mental state back then for what she did, and that her friends are not good influences. She takes meds and goes to therapy. In July she actually tried to commit suicide. She drank a bunch of pills and alcohol, luckily she woke up the next day. She was put in a hospital for almost a month. She's still struggling with depression but seems way better. She does have a really bad memory, is forgetful especially of dates. So when she told me that when she was on the dating site it was before she met me, and the conversation with her friend that shows the evidence, she told me it wasn't from yr 2023 but from 2022. She met that friend in march 2023 after we started dating. So maybe she actually thought that was true and thought she was telling me the truth?
Basically for the first 5 months or so she wasn't in a good mental state. Is that a reasonable excuse for what she did to me? Wondering if I should forgive her and get past this because it was in the beginning of our relationship. I'm not sure if I can trust her if we get back together. We're on a break right now, taking some time to think about what to do. Any advice?
Tldr: 10 months into relationship, just found out gf was just talking to other guys two months into our relationship, supposedly no meetups or sex. Advice on whether to forgive her and stay together. Not sure what to do.
