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Everything posted by Onion555
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Girlfriend did something I don't know if I can get over.
Onion555 replied to Onion555's topic in Relationship Advice
Thank you so much for this advice. As simple as it is, it's very helpful and insightful. I believe you are right. I love her, truly. but I do think our values on a lot of stuff, more than just this instance are too different -
Girlfriend did something I don't know if I can get over.
Onion555 replied to Onion555's topic in Relationship Advice
Thanks man, I appreciate the advice a lot. Unfortunately I think you are right -
Girlfriend did something I don't know if I can get over.
Onion555 replied to Onion555's topic in Relationship Advice
I do have morals, dude. Counter productive to place a blame in a situation like this. Feelings are rarely black and white. Sometimes it can be hard to tell what you actually want. I'm human and still figuring things out. I have never cared for someone as much as her. Hence why I didn't realize i should take that as a red flag. When I first heard about it, it sort of bothered me, but i was able to change my focus and not care. But now that we are super close and I have very strong feelings for her, it does bother me. I did not know in the beginning that it would bother me this much. If I did. I would have handled our relationship very differently in the beginning. -
Girlfriend did something I don't know if I can get over.
Onion555 replied to Onion555's topic in Relationship Advice
Great insight, thank you very much -
Girlfriend did something I don't know if I can get over.
Onion555 replied to Onion555's topic in Relationship Advice
I will look Into it, thank you -
Girlfriend did something I don't know if I can get over.
Onion555 replied to Onion555's topic in Relationship Advice
Well. I'm sorry that happened to you. The issue I'm having is more so the fact that she told me all these stories at different times when I didn't want to know them. I've never shamed or questioned her or made her feel bad for her sexuality whatsoever. I love and respect her. These are personal feelings that I grapple with. It has never affected her in any way. I'm just trying to figure out how to go about these uncomfortable thoughts and memories. -
Girlfriend did something I don't know if I can get over.
Onion555 replied to Onion555's topic in Relationship Advice
Thank you for the feedback. We are exclusive. I have asked her many times when we first started dating if she is okay with never being with a girl again and she said absolutely. We are both incredibly loyal to eachother and there are no wondering eyes or anything like that. We are very committed. -
Girlfriend did something I don't know if I can get over.
Onion555 replied to Onion555's topic in Relationship Advice
I agree. Thank you for your feedback -
Girlfriend did something I don't know if I can get over.
Onion555 replied to Onion555's topic in Relationship Advice
Thank you. My plan was to see a therapist and try and figure it out myself. But due to financial reasons that may be months away. I'm to the point where I don't feel like I can wait months. Right now I am torn between repressing it until I can talk to a therapist or just telling her everything. I feel so guilty keeping it from her, but I know this will really damage our relationship if i dont handle this right. And like I said. I don't know if I have a few more months of this left in me. Because at the end of the day it's my own problem and she hasn't done anything wrong. -
Girlfriend did something I don't know if I can get over.
Onion555 replied to Onion555's topic in Relationship Advice
Yes. Her morales align with mine now. But that definitely wasn't always the case. I don't think it was quite one off. She had similar stories that also make me wrench to think about. She is an amazing person now and I love her very much. But I struggle so much with her past showing up as impulsive thoughts that start looping in my head, and I won't be able to think about anything else for days and days. It's horrible but I wonder if it would be a grave mistake to throw the relationship away just because I can't stop thinking about her past. -
Girlfriend did something I don't know if I can get over.
Onion555 replied to Onion555's topic in Relationship Advice
I am a man. And you are right, as much as I hate to admit it the bi side does bother me. I know there's plenty of dudes that are unphased by that. I just don't like the thought if it and get horrible impulsive thoughts of her in these acts then start to ruminate on them. I have never shamed her or made her feel bad. That's who she is and I love her. But the whole mom thing (along with some OTHER stories shes shared) is like... I feel like that's a huge difference in morales. I couldn't imagine doing something like that. Her morales and values are aligned with mine these days. But it still bothers me that they weren't always. Idk if I'm just expecting too much and it's unrealistic or what. -
Girlfriend did something I don't know if I can get over.
Onion555 replied to Onion555's topic in Relationship Advice
Thank you for your feedback. It's nice to know there are long term couples who haven't had that issue -
Girlfriend did something I don't know if I can get over.
Onion555 replied to Onion555's topic in Relationship Advice
That's a great point. We are both 24. I think years ago our morals would not have aligned at all. I would have never done something like that. Now we have very similar morals and values. But it still bothers the hell out of me that she didn't always have them I suppose. -
Girlfriend did something I don't know if I can get over.
Onion555 replied to Onion555's topic in Relationship Advice
This is a great point and thank you for the feedback. To clear some things up: it has always bothered me. I told her I don't ever want to hear about things like that a few days after she said it because it was bothering me so much. She has been respectful of the boundary. It has bothered me for the duration of the relationship. I just try not to think about it. But a lot of the time it comes as an intrusive thought. My intention for dating has always been marriage. But the more I think about her story the more I get repulsed by the idea. Everything else in the relationship is great, but this is still really bothering me. -
Girlfriend did something I don't know if I can get over.
Onion555 replied to Onion555's topic in Relationship Advice
That's a great point. Honestly I liked her so much I was just willing to overlook it. But it's been weighing ya know? -
Girlfriend did something I don't know if I can get over.
Onion555 replied to Onion555's topic in Relationship Advice
Yes. I have thought a lot about this. Yes I do visualize it and can't stop it from popping in my head and it drives me crazy. But I also think It's a difference in values and morales for me. I just couldn't imagine doing that. Let alone telling someone I liked about it. -
Girlfriend did something I don't know if I can get over.
Onion555 replied to Onion555's topic in Relationship Advice
She was kind of proud I think. She made a joke. Something like "the kids on Xbox live who say 'I ***ed your mom' don't have anything on me" something like that. -
Girlfriend did something I don't know if I can get over.
Onion555 replied to Onion555's topic in Relationship Advice
I don't really know. She kind of has a habit of being too honest sometimes. I set boundaries and told her I don't want to hear about stuff like that. She has respected the boundary. But it's been a year and it still bothers me. -
Girlfriend did something I don't know if I can get over.
Onion555 replied to Onion555's topic in Relationship Advice
Oh sorry. I misunderstood. It has bothered me the whole time. I just keep trying to ignore it. -
Girlfriend did something I don't know if I can get over.
Onion555 replied to Onion555's topic in Relationship Advice
Well. I don't think anyone wants to picture their SO having sex with their friends mom -
I have been with my girlfriend for over a year. She is my best friend. I love her. Things are fine. But before we started dating she told me that she hooked up with her friends MOM! I laughed it off. But now it's all I can think of. When I picture my wife I don't picture someone who would do something like that! Would it be foolish of me to throw something so good away over this?