whiskersRwe

I want to clarify that I was asking for insight into his behavior, not how to change it. I don't think he will change. For example, is the silent treatment thing normal or is it always a red flag? When reading about it, the word "narcissist" often comes up, but I don't know if that necessarily means the person is a narcissist. I just want to dispel my own confusion and understand the situation so I can process it, come to terms with it, and be on alert and savvy in the future. I don't want a repeat of this situation. Just because I'm heartbroken doesn't mean this person is a "good catch" or I need to be back with them; I'm heartbroken because I was mistreated. Thanks everyone for your responses!

Thanks for responding @Wiseman2. We are both in our early 30's and I have my own place but mostly stayed with him even though my place is cleaner and larger. A few years ago, I left an obviously and violently abusive relationship and when I think about the recent ex's behavior patterns, they very much remind me of the other person's - i.e. both men abandoned me outdoors at night in a strange place. The real or imagined connection of these guys' behaviors sometimes makes me worry like I must be the problem and "cause" them to be abusive. Thanks again, it was nice to hear from someone.

A little over a week ago, I broke up with the guy I dated for a year. For the last half of the relationship, arguments and short 3-4 day breakups became fairly common. I'm not sure if this is in part because we both experienced some unfortunate life events (death of a mutal friend, etc) around the 6 month mark. As our fights seemed to get worse, he began calling me unacceptable names and saying things like "I hate you" or "you don't deserve to be loved," taking things too far. Throughout the relationship, I almost always had to come to his place and spend time with his friends and/or support him at events revolving around his hobbies, but it wasn't reciprocal. After arguments, he would give me the silent treatment for a few days until I got so upset I'd beg for him to talk to me. I feel like I still love this person, but at the same time, it's not healthy for me to be with someone who doesn't respect me and damages my self-esteem. Even though I was willing to (and did) break up with him if necessary, what I really wanted was for him to start treating me in a more loving and understanding way. I told him not to talk to me when I broke up with him and 3-4 days later I said I had had time to cool off if he wanted to talk. No response. A couple of days later, I asked if he would leave my mail packages (about $100) outside for me if I went by that evening. No response. The packages were outside, so I know he's getting my texts. He has neither blocked me on social media nor asked for his key back. Aside from texting him the couple of times I mentioned, there's been no communication on my end either. I did well for the first few days, but seem to be more upset as time goes on and am having a hard time, emotionally. Does anyone have some insight into this person's behavior or advice for me?