houseofballoons

16 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Join some study groups. That could help you with courses you're not that good at.

You can also look into tutoring and ask your professors about extra help. 

 Try to relax before taking tests. Try to get in the zone.  Try not to cram and pace yourself. 

15 hours ago, boltnrun said:

If you haven't even read the material yet you are going to really struggle. Can you take an incomplete and retake the class next semester? I did that when I was in college and was having a tough time with a certain class. 

21 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

Realistically, no. I mean it depends on how much fast you pick up stuff. But "law stuff", especially something that has a big density, requires that you put up a time. A time that is probably greater then 19 hours, minus sleep. You can maybe manage to read the module. But to learn it properly for the exam requires extensive reading. Even stuff like memorizing definitions or just slowly balding important paragraphs in book and after that returning to them and reading over and over. In short, it requires preparation. So I would suggest you prepare more for next exam.

Can you postpone this one? Or take it again if you get a bad grade?

Thanks all, I sat the exam and luckily what I had studied had come up. I’m confident I did okay!

Yes yes, I know. But you’ve probably all been there guys.

I have a test tomorrow at 1:30pm. It is now 6:23pm where I am. I need to study three topics, preferably 4 but that’s no longer an option. 

I’ve studied one topic kind of, I wouldn’t be totally clueless if I had to answer it. The other two? Haven’t an idea. 

I’ve been to all these lectures but could never concentrate as I just hate the module ( Economic Law of the European Union). It’s also super dense.

Is there any way I can do kind of okay at this point? I’m confident with all my other modules but this is definitely going to bring my average down. 

Any thoughts?

16 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

That's excellent. It's good to get an evaluation of your physical and mental health and continue supportive therapy. 

With ongoing supportive therapy any effects or side effects can be discussed. Please use them as prescribed including not mixing alcohol or recreational drugs. 

Please take care of yourself and your health. You can get generic information from reputable sites and also your pharmacist and doctor. 

Thank you, this was very kind.

Starting anti depressants

I had my first ever meeting with a therapist today who was really lovely and helpful, but recommended I get a referral to a doctor in order to get a prescription for anti depressants. 

She said these would be taken in conjunction with seeing her regularly, and only if it were something I was open to. 

I really think at this point in my life I need them and I’m really sick of feeling this way, but I’m very scared. I also feel a lot of shame. 

Can anyone share their experiences?

2 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

Rightly so. It is not a good sign that he opted to dump you. The truth of this came out right there. There is no undoing that. 

Why do you feel this is wrong? 

You're trying to blame yourself for what is a pretty normal need. Most of us at 3 months would want to feel some reassurance from whomever we are dating. The way you went about it was not great, but really, it's beside the point. The point is that you evidently hadn't been feeling very confident about where you stand with him,  which clearly stems from the hesitation he's displayed from the beginning. 

After 3 months he's still having doubts. What is normally the honeymoon phase is not going well and he's iffy. You are back-pedalling and minimzing your own desires to suit a guy who is not that into you. If he were, this thread would not exist. 

You can keep dating him if you want, but keep your expectations very low. I wouldn't even call him my boyfriend, personally. He is nowhere near invested enough for that, girl. 

I do think I prompted that “break-up”. He told me he had never before considered it and I was the one who kept asking “is this it” etc until he said yes. 
 

I cannot express how well he treats me, besides from this. This made me trust that things were okay for him and that he’s happy. Which he still maintains he is. In comparison to other experiences I’ve had, he is by far the best boyfriend I’ve had. I’m guessing me looking for that reassurance was just me wanting attention because I was drunk or perhaps stemming from how things began, NOT because I feel he is a bad boyfriend etc. 

6 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

No, you weren't, or you wouldn't have initiated this conversation with him in the bar, no matter how drunk you were. Obviously something was bothering you. 

Again, I don't think you are being very honest with yourself. Something was not sitting right with you for this to have boiled over. 

Look, real talk: this guy doesn't feel the same way you do. You realize this, on some level. At 3 months, he is still having all kinds of doubts and it's pretty clear this is not going to become the sort of relationship you are probably seeking.

I would take all of this as the sign that it's not the right match. He isn't going to stick around and it will hurt a lot more the second time he breaks up with you. 

I understand my pushing etc and initiating the conversation was definitely a sign of immaturity on my part, despite me having a couple drinks. I guess I was probably looking for validation or reassurance that I shouldn’t have been looking for. That was wrong of me. The whole situation was not particularly mature and I am very much willing to admit that. 
 

I’m serious in the sense that I like him and care about him very, very much. And I’m willing to do/try this. I’m not obsessed, nor am I looking to be with him “forever and ever”. That to me is juvenile and at this stage in the relationship where we’re at is fine. 
 

My concern is that I feel overall upset from that bar “incident” and I’m now unsure as to whether or not I can trust that he wants this, even though the conversation that followed reassured me. It may just be due to the nature of me being upset. 

25 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

You never stated your age. But by what you wrote and whole drama, I would say "high school" age. Or at least 2 people who act like they are in one. Both are not really reflecting good on both of you. If you are a high school age, you both are maybe not serious about the whole relationship thing. So, the issues like you described are a thing. You are maybe not there emotionally nore are serious to commit. And that is fine. But then you need to know that yes, its really not that serious or stable. Hence why breaking and getting together in one night.

We’re both 20, so you’re not really too far off

I understand my pushing etc and initiating the conversation was definitely a sign of immaturity on my part, despite me having a couple drinks. I guess I was probably looking for validation or reassurance that I shouldn’t have been looking for. That was wrong of me. The whole situation was not particularly mature and I am very much willing to admit that. 
 

I’m serious in the sense that I like him and care about him very, very much. And I’m willing to do/try this. I’m not obsessed, nor am I looking to be with him “forever and ever”. That to me is juvenile and at this stage in the relationship where we’re at is fine. 
 

My concern is that I feel overall upset from that bar “incident” and I’m now unsure as to whether or not I can trust that he wants this, even though the conversation that followed reassured me. It may just be due to the nature of me being upset. 

We’re both 20, so I would say you’re not really too far off. 
 

I understand my pushing etc and initiating the conversation was definitely a sign of immaturity on my part, despite me having a couple drinks. I guess I was probably looking for validation or reassurance that I shouldn’t have been looking for. That was wrong of me. The whole situation was not particularly mature and I am very much willing to admit that. 
 

I’m serious in the sense that I like him and care about him very, very much. And I’m willing to do/try this. I’m not obsessed, nor am I looking to be with him “forever and ever”. That to me is juvenile and at this stage in the relationship where we’re at is fine. 
 

My concern is that I feel overall upset from that bar “incident” and I’m now unsure as to whether or not I can trust that he wants this, even though the conversation that followed reassured me. It may just be due to the nature of me being upset. 

Hi all, and thanks in advance for any advice given.
 

My boyfriend and I have only officially been together 3 months. In this time, I have been very happy with how things have progressed and really feel like he is a really good boyfriend. Prior to us getting together, we were friends who had conflicting feelings for one another - we both didn’t necessarily want a relationship but it just happened. He was very open with me about his insecurities as he was scared of “wasting my time”. I set this precedent as I didn’t want to start a relationship unless he was sure he liked me enough, alas, he did.

Yesterday, we had our first “incident”. A conversation arose regarding his feelings. He told me he still wasn’t 100% and that he didn’t know if he was mature enough for this. I will admit this was prompted by my own drunken nagging. My feelings were incoherent as I was just visibly upset but not expressing anything (again, we were in a bar!) and at a certain point I began to ask “is this it, is this it” until he finally said “yes.” He was also crying ATP.

Fast forward not even 2 minutes later, he revokes this statement as he said he did selfishly want to be with me, and would much rather be with me than not, but that my reaction and our emotional mess made him think I expected more from him - he has had doubts surrounding whether or not he should be doing or feeling more at this stage, ( he had intended to speak to me about this, just not right there and then ) and my inexplicable crying, pushing, etc confirmed those doubts, so he broke up with me for all of 5 minutes.

We spoke afterwards about these doubts in detail. All of what he said was fine - we’re at an early stage, we’re happy, but we’re not in love or planning long into the future. I was comfortable with the conversation we had as I feel we’re on the same page, only difference is he’s insecure about where he should be at and was worried for my happiness, thinking I would want more etc, whereas I’m not stressed about how peaceful and non-intense everything is.

My issue is that after the “break-up”, I find it hard to believe this is what he really wants. He told me he had no prior intentions to break up and that he’s happy day to day. I asked him 100 times over if he did really want to proceed and he said yes, but I can’t get the incident out of my head. The conversation as a stand alone was completely okay, but coupled with the 2 minute “break up”, I am questioning if he really does feel enough for me or that if we should be in love at this stage. I was happy with how natural things seemed to be going, but now I’m just waiting for him to really break up with me out of nowhere. It really hurt me and I’m not sure how to get over it. Should I be concerned? Or is this something I can get over?