GS2018

It is. We’ve discussed just being friends. Until she is able to figure out what exactly she wants and is willing to take on the root of the problem, her ex, she will struggle to find a meaningful and fulfilled relationship.

And just like that, it’s over. More drama with the ex the other night, so I ended it yesterday. I stand corrected from my last comment here. Thanks again everyone!

Thanks for the replies everyone. We’ve been dating for a few months. She is now telling me she will be willing to title the relationship (as boyfriend/girlfriend) once she is comfortable with the fact that, “you’re not going anywhere. I don’t want to have the fight with my ex until I’m sure about us” She did bring me to her family Thanksgiving, I’ve been more spending time with her and her daughter as well. Things are moving in a forward direction She is certainly holding back from opening up too much with me, but as more time goes on, she is exposing more of her emotions and her heart, so we will see. To those telling me to run away: I say no. Just running away instead of fully understanding what the other person may be going through is a disservice to both people involved. Some situations that may be warranted (any sort of abuse, etc), but the early navigation of a relationship that is otherwise going well, seems unnecessary

First/long post warning. I just want to thank everyone in advance to their advice and taking the time to weigh in. I have been dating a single mother of two (we are both around 40 years old). Her kids are both in high school. Her ex husband and her divorced in 2019, started the process in 2018 after he cheated on her with a co-worker. He has a combat deployment background and is also in law enforcement. I also have a combat deployment and know the mental stresses involved with it. Here’s the situation I’m hoping for advice on. We are taking our time and now we are at the stage of meeting the kids. I met one of them over the weekend and we hit it off great! Supposed to be meeting her other child on Thanksgiving. Last night, we were talking and I asked her how she would feel about making it official (titling the relationship) and she went quiet and after a bit, she expressed that her ex husband is going to cause a lot of issues with her and her kids once she is official. She said that he will talk negatively about her to her kids and he will say things to them like, “she would rather be with her new boyfriend instead of them”, etc. She seems to have a legit fear of this man and he has no boundaries. (Mental abuse) I’ll spare you all the complete list of problems with what her ex says to her and their kids (he belittles them as well). My take: I believe she is afraid of upsetting her ex and that he still has power over her. As this is my first time ever dating a single mother, I’m not sure if this behavior is ‘normal’ with a ex husband who is also a father, but I do need some talking points and help with reassuring her that she has power and doesn’t need to live in fear of upsetting an ex. I do want to make this relationship work as I do have feelings for her and she really is a great woman. We spend most evenings and weekends together and otherwise jive really well. Any help, suggestions, etc would be greatly appreciated. (ps. If it means anything, I am an ENFP and she is an INFP.)