Magi

Hello, Me (F29) and my boyfriend (M30) have been together for over five years. I have never been jealous and fully trust him whenever he goes out, but recently I have had issues with one particular friend of his. A little backstory, my boyfriend moved to my home country about five years ago. We started out in a long term relationship and then he moved here. So about a year ago he started hanging around some new people (my boyfriend is a major extrovert and making friends is extremely easy for him, I on the other hand am the complete opposite). The group consisted of 4 girls who were 23 years old and liked to party.. a lot. At first I didn’t mind that he went out to party, as I fully trusted him and knew that nothing would ever happen. Also our other friends were there as well. However there were instances when he spent the night at their place (the girls had a house party) and he slept on the couch. This happened three times until I told him how awful that made me feel. (Nothing happened he just passed out) Soon after that I figured out that he has been talking a lot with one of the girls, let’s call her Kate. Ever since I met Kate I got a weird vibe from her. I get along with her roommate and other two girls, but there is something off about her and I cannot put my finger on it. Anyway, as Kate is also an expat in the country, she has no family or close friends. And she started to confide in my boyfriend. They became really close- having lunch, her calling in the evenings to discuss her issues with her roommate.. I didn’t see the harm in it at first, but when my boyfriend started hanging out with her more than with me I realized that there was something wrong. My boyfriend and I discussed their relationship and his reply was always the same - he sees her as his little sister and he will try to be better. Fast forward to august. Kate’s mother was visiting and my boyfriend was showing her around the city as Kate herself had to work. When my boyfriend returned, he told me that he felt a bit weird with Kate’s mother. He felt that she was trying to make a sales pitch on Kate and even when he said that he had a girlfriend she had shrugged it off and said “Well girlfriend is not a wife, you never know what happens”. I was shocked and honestly didn’t even know how to respond to the whole situation. However it didn’t stop there.. The next evening we were going to a club to see our friend DJing. Kate and her mother joined as well. At the end of the night I see my boyfriend and Kate talking. My boyfriend then comes over and tells me that he will send Kate and her mom to the taxi and will come right back. Not two minutes later Kate approaches me and says “Do not go anywhere, we will be right back”. I was confused for why she needed to tell me anything and nodded. I resumed dancing and noticed that it has been over 10 minutes since my boyfriend left, so I texted him to ask where he went. Apparently Kate told him that I was okay with the fact that he would go to her place and even tried to manipulate him into staying longer (to have snacks or more drinks). When my boyfriend found out from me that I had no clue he demanded to leave and return (I had already left to go home as I was fuming). When he came home he explained that Kate had told him that I was okay with everything and even though I didn’t seem okay to him, he was pulled into the taxi. During the days after that night, he had a fight with Kate, where she called me a liar. She claimed that I was bending her words and manipulating him. After all that we didn’t see or hear from her for about a month. Now however they are back to communicating like nothing happened. My boyfriend said that he would have a serious talk with her as Kate is his closest friends, but he told me that the talk didn’t happen as Kate doesn’t like confrontation. I would like to talk to her as well, I have expressed my desire multiple times, but it seems she is avoiding me. And now few weeks ago they decided to start a business together, making them meet several times a week. I have asked if I can join them, however my boyfriend said that maybe not to Kate’s place as that may make her uncomfortable….. I have told my boyfriend that I feel Kate may be having feelings for him or is trying to deny her feelings for him. My boyfriends mom also told him to be careful of her… He doesn’t think she has feelings for him and considers her like a sister… I feel like maybe I am overthinking and/or overreacting in this situation, but I don’t know how to handle this anymore…