I met my friend "Carly" during freshman orientation in my freshman year of high school. We immediately clicked and were really close friends, and did nearly everything together. This continued throughout high school and several teachers and faculty would point out that it was rare to see one of us without the other.
I am now in my 1st year of university and can't help but feel we've outgrown each other. We go to two universities that are in different states, so we don't see each other much and I know distance changes relationship dynamics.... but now she only calls me to complain. About everything. And when I try to give her solutions she refuses to try anything to make her situation better. When we talk on the phone, it's always about her, and I can nearly never get a word in. When I talk to her, I feel like a therapist, and sometimes invisible. She also makes an effort to all her other friends, most of whom are mutual friends, when she comes home from uni, but never seems interested in wanting to see me, even though I offer every time.
She only seems interested when I talk about guys, but my life is so much more than that now. On top of my classes, which I'm enjoying, I'm doing research and volunteering, none of which she cares about or is interested in hearing about. She doesn't reply to my texts or videos I send her, and she only calls me to talk about something going on in her life.
I get no one is perfect, I'm sure not. But a friend should be someone you can tell your joys and concerns to, and she is not that person for me.
I've brought this stuff up to her before, but she hasn't changed. She's called me a few times since I've decided to put distance between us, but I haven't answered. I just can't keep listening to old high school drama or listening to her complain. I'll probably continue to put distance between us. What do you do when you realize you've outgrown a relationship? Do I owe her an explanation of how I'm feeling? I want to talk to her about it but don't know how to tell her all this without making her feel like I'm bashing her character. I still love her as she's a great person, just not so much a great friend.
