Hi TwinPeaks,
This is quite an unsettling occurrence. However I am sure it can also be used as a opportunity where you can discuss issues in your relationship that have been troubling to both of you. Communicating issues that are bringing you discontent in your relationship is a process in optimizing it. However you must be able to discuss the issues in a logical, civil and respectful manner…without accusations and attitude.
If you partner may find someone else attractive I do not think that should be a surprise. Do you find people other than your partner attractive? If he does find this other girl attractive perhaps it would be beneficial to discuss with him what he finds attractive about her. Are these qualities that you have or are they qualities that you can develop?
It is not uncommon for both men and women to find people other than their partners attractive. The important thing is to develop skills to handle the situation when it occurs.
From what I understand you are in the dating phase of your relationship…not married. Dating is the process of getting to know each other. This is part of the process of getting to know each other.
One thing that I will caution you about is that your boyfriend may feel uncomfortable discussing this topic with you. Also, it is a delicate topic and requires good communication skills to have a productive discussion. From your post you are 22 and he is 23. I am not sure how developed your communication skills are at this point and it may be quite awkward…However discussion of such topics are essential in relationships. The more you discuss such issues the better you become at discussing them.
Best of luck to you,
Mike
