fede111

we are both mid 30s, ive been in his country 4 years in Portugal but ive had a long term relationship with someone from portugal before so aware of cultural differences etc

Yeah, what you are saying makes sense thanks

there isnt a language barrier, im not looking for red flag but i think that its normal to be cautious when dating someone new

Also i think the need to have a partner and to expect them to fulfill all your emotional and social needs is a red flag, and as i was unsure if the situation seemed like that or not

yes we are from different cultures and no we dont speak the same native language. I am starting fresh. We do speak about heavier topics in person, i was pointing out the dynamic. hes not introverted. I pointed out a potential red flag as a question mark as i was unsure. well like i said the fact that he doesnt have loads of friends doesnt bother me, what i pointed out was his supposed need for a partner, there is one thing wanting to have a partner and another needing to have one,

Im not sure, I haven´t asked him as I havent really wanted to broach the subject yet why our last relationships didnt work. Its also hard to broach the subject of him not really having friends as it doesnt feel nice asking someone that. I did ask him when he said about having a partner why he wanted one, he said that he liked to feel a part of something, and that like with his ex it was their routine to meet on a friday after work and if he didnt have that he didnt know what to do or he was bored or something.

ok thank you. Im not sure how normal it is to trust someone so quickly i mean that he trusts me so quick while im more hesitant and cautious. I mean him trusting me quickly in the sense of getting attached quickly

Hi guys, I was just looking for some advice. I have been dating a guy for about 4 months now ( i would say 3 because I was overseas for a month seeing family) and it had been going well. Hes a nice guy, hes considerate, kind and attentive. so in that 3 month period, we have seen each other about once or twice a week. Which is good for me, ive been in some abusive relationships so i am concious of being rushed at the start, love bombing etc. I dont feel rushed. However recently something has been bugging me. So this guy told me after maybe 2 months that he was looking for a partner. We speak every day by text and some long texts. the thing is over time ive began to notice that he doesnt seem to have many friends or any. hes mentioned a few by name but in our conversations hes never really said, oh i met up with so and so, or i seen this friend. So im not sure if he has friends or the ones he has he doesnt see regularly. He mentioned to me one time where hes from and where i live in europe, the people are closed off ( which is true) and usually people make friends at school and dont allow others into that group. he has hobbies and sometimes meets up with people after one of his classes for example. but during the summer he hasnt mentioned any meetups as the classes have a break for the summer. So anyway he mentioned his ex partner a couple of times and he said when they broke up he didnt know what to do with all this new time he had, sort of suggesting he was used to spending all his time with her. He then said that after a while he signed up to classes/hobbies which i thought was good. Hes mentioned a few dates with other girls/ girls hes dated and it seemed like sometimes he was going out to places with the intention of finding a partner. he also mentioned a girl who he had seen for a month and that she hadnt treated him well and he was devastated, to me this seemed a bit strange in the sense of him getting so attached after a short time. Hes started to get more attached to me i can feel it, and recently asked to go away together on a weekend away and what i was doing at christmas and what concerns me is that if he doesnt have friends or any real friends, does he expect to get his socialisation/ emotional support through me? i think this is a bad sign and unhealthy and i had an ex who had friends but didnt like them and i felt he looked to me for all his emotional support and socialisation which felt like too much and exhausting. I dont want this to repeat but dont know if im being paranoid or not. Thanks