Dani95

I cant seem to find it, would you mind possibly copying the link and swnding it tonme please? 🙂

I get that and understand where you are coming from but its not the masterbating that makes me feel like ***. Its the porn, ive even went as far as offering to send him some intimate photos and videos of me or doing one of us together to "release tension alone" but will not go for it and would rather watch and look at someone else.

Especially after 10 years of being together 🙂

I understand where you are coming from. Im 28f and hes 30m as i remembered you asked. He has been my first ever serious relationship so every step is new to the both of us. We both also work full time but now (only in last few months) we finally have weekends off together. We do also live together with a mortgage too. It's just everytime hes stressed or upset/angry he completely closes off and hardly speaks, doesn't let me in at all then stuff like this happens. I understand that some men do find it hard to express their emotions but to close off and leave me in the dark completely in all aspects just gets me so down. Sorry to vent on, just not many people willing to give proper advice recently. 🙂

I have never told him hes not allowed, ive never given him any ultimatums. I simply wanted to express my feelings to my partner to which he obviously does not agree with. I know we won't always agree on things but i would never forbid him todo anything he doesn't want to do our relationship isn't like that. Im just asking for some advice on if the time comes how to best approach the conversation or how best to deal with my feelings about this situation or if i am just being unreasonable with my feelings. 🙂

My apologies guys i couldn't edit my post as im not sure how to. To add onto post he has since resumed the intimacy in the bedroom but on the nights he tells me hes too tired or would rather just go straight to bed he either sits in bathroom and watches porn on phone while on silent (thats hiw i found out one night as he forgot to turn volume down first) or waits till be thinks im sleeping and does it laying right next to me in bed. Yes the intimacy has gotten better but how i feel hasn't. I understand that there will be times hes tired amd of course i knkw we don't need to be intimate every night but why lie to my face when hes obviously hot enough energy to pleasure himself and giving himself an orgasim. Apologies again, new here and still learning xx

I am currently in a 10 year relationship and have previously spoken to my partner about this issue but in turn it always causes arguments. I am here to seek a little advice on this scenario please. So i do know that it is a natural and normal thing for males to watch porn, never bothered me before but within the last few years it has started bothering me alot as there was a period of time when my partner didn't want to do anything in the bedroom with me due to stress at work, stress with money, he was absolutely exhausted. So i totally understand that he may not always have the energy but he neglected to tell me how much he was tired. But nearly every night for 2 weeks was quite happy to masterbate to porn videos, now i know i could pleasure myself too but that wasn't the point. Not that he did it deliberately but i was starting to feel so horrible in myself that he'd rather masterbate watching another naked woman have sex than be intimate with myself. Since then i tried to sit and have a conversation with him about it but his reaction to it was how can i have a problem with something that's so normal and a natural thing for a male todo but said that if it genuinely makes me feel so bad, he'd stop doing it so i didn't feel hurt . So he started doing it behind my back when i wouldn't find out, to which i did find out a while later and again i sat down to have a conversation about why he felt like he needed to lie instead of telling me the truth that he didn't actually want to stop. And again another argument happened where he told me that how i feel about it has made him feel like he's cheating on me when he masterbates to porn videos and that he's now terrified to even think about it never mind do it. But i know hes lieing about it again as he's accidentally left his volume on his phone up and i heard his video and again accidentally without knowing let me see his phone screen as he loads the video up before venturing off to the bathroom. I know it's probably not the case but i just feel like what do these videos have that i dont or what can these videos do for him that i cant. I've not brought it up or let him know i know as i dont want to get into another argument with him about the same thing again, I've never belittled him or intentionally made him feel bad about it. I've spoken to my mum and best friend whom both said in the nicest way possible to let it go and try and nit let it bother me and to leave him to it as it's not fair on him because it's normal.... Am i being unfair? Am i a horrible girlfriend for even bringing it up in the first place? How can i make myself feel tje way the world does about it? I just don't know anymore and at that point now where i really need more advice. Anything would be much appreciated... Thank you Dani