Tiff4850

He isn’t the PDA type, he isn’t one to show too much emotion, is much more practical thinking. We started dating at 14, had two kids together and money was tight, hence waiting so long to get married. Having been together so long, his family is my family and vice versa, they think the world of him. I am a little more open to my friends about our issues and some are not ok with his attitude towards me, especially of late I am in therapy, see my physc and am medicated

We have two teenage children together and I do have close friends for support. I am doing all I can myself to keep my head above water mentally, it’s just this one elephant in the room keeping me from being happy. My husband did not want me to go to the mental health facility as it ‘was all too sudden’ and I didn’t take into consideration anyone else having to pick up the slack of running to household. He felt I was being selfish. I am trying to work on myself and give him the space he needs but it’s just so hurtful and I feel so alone. It’s hard also when he can’t really tell me what I have done to make him feel so little about me.

This may be long so please bear with me... I have been with my husband 22 years - married 12. Over the last 7 months, we have just about come to the point of separating I believe. It all started when his father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. At the same time, my mental health declined rapidly (I was diagnosed with BPD 10 years ago and have been pretty level headed up to this point). It all came to a head when we were in the middle of doing the 'deed' and he asked me to get off and that he had no desire to be with me in that way. When questioned, he just kept saying he has a lot on his mind, work is stressful and that he doesn't feel I am there for him in regards to his father. He is a very emotionless man and had shown no signs of being upset. I listened to him when he spoke about it, was and am still very mindful to make sure we as a family are spending as much time as possible with him, he even took a two week holiday with him and our son to spend time with him. The only real example he could give me was that I got angry at him one morning when he spent the night drinking at his friends house and did not tell me he was not coming home and that I was in a bad mood while I had Covid and due to this he did not attend his best friend's 40th birthday party. In the weeks after this, I ended up spending 6 weeks in a private mental hospital, against his wishes. He made this clear throughout the 6 weeks and was in no way supportive of me and what I was doing to get better - no phone calls, minimal contact, basically ignored me for 6 weeks which hurt. Upon coming home, we have been civil but things were very tense. We argued a lot, barely spoke, were not sleeping in the same bed, etc. I have spoken to him many times about it but he just keeps saying he needs time to get over me not being there for him and being as he says 'a selfish ***' for the last six months. When I bring up moving forward, or needing some sort of intimacy (cuddling, time together, that sort of thing) he says no, he needs time and the more I pester him about it, the longer it is going to take. I asked him during the week for a kiss which he replied 'eww no thank you' and walked away. I have spent the last 7 months so very upset, feeling alone and unwanted. My question is, do I walk away or is this just a hard time in our marriage and lives and wait it out. It is honestly breaking my heart.