This is gonna be kinda long. Me and my sons mother have been on and off since 2019. Our relationship has been a comp mess so I’m gonna be honest. Every couple weeks she would switch up on me and break up with me and treat me horribly tell me to kill myself hit me and use breaking up and threatening breaking up as a control tactic. We had a baby and got a place and we’re partying a lot. One night when we all got blacked out her friend stuck her foot in my face and I ended up kissing her foot. This turned into a whole thing where I got beat up and left. During this time I ended up sleeping with someone that was in our friend group because I thought we were done and she was saying we were done and that she was gonna *** other people. So I slept with someone else. When we got back together because of how violent she was I didn’t tell her what had happened. She constantly starts *** with the wrong people and ended up getting told what happened which was non of her buisness since we were broken up. For the past year and a half I have been killing myself getting beat up and broken up with and everything terrible u can think of. Told to kill myself and that she was gonna *** other people and when she would do that I would hang out with other girls because I thought we were done. She had been the absolute worst person I have ever dealt with in my life and for some reason I still love her so I’m looking for guidance on how to handle getting thru something like this and releasing this trauma bond
