Jackie321

Thanks for the comments everyone. itsallgrand - I don’t think she disapproves of HOW I got pregnant. She was 100% supportive of my first pregnancy which was also via fertility treatment. I think she either just doesn’t consider us to be friends anymore hence the lack of effort or she’s jealous/upset that I’ve had a second baby when she’s not likely to get the opportunity. Neither are great for me and I won’t be contacting her again!!

I get that but when she announced she was pregnant I had just had the the third of 3 failed fertility treatments (she knew this) and felt jealous and upset at her news but I put my big girl pants on and congratulated her and was supportive all the way through her pregnancy. I realised it wasn’t her fault I hadn’t conceived and didn’t want to ruin our friendship by making an issue out of it. it just pi$$es me off she can’t even bring herself to send me a message or a card. She doesn’t even have to see me!! My baby is 2 months old now so I doubt I’ll hear from her now.

Thank you for the replies again. Some info: we were v close friends for 5 years I left her city 10 years ago i haven’t seen her for about 5 years or spoken or her on the phone for the same time. However, we have stayed in touch via WhatsApp all those years and send each other birthday and Xmas cards. Sometimes we can go 5 months without context. However, I did expect she would reach out after I had my baby with even a message or a card. I know I would have with her. Maybe I’m expecting too much and the ‘friendship’ means more to me than her. Anyhow, it’s time for me to pull back…

Thanks so much for the replies! all very helpful and informative. seems I’m not alone and that having a baby can bring out the worst in people. im not contacting her again. I’m not chasing after someone who can’t be happy that I achieved one of my biggest dreams. I’ll leave the door open communication wise but she will have to make the first move… i have a feeling I won’t hear from her again 😢

Hi has anyone received a negative response from a friend regarding your pregnancy/birth? I have been friends with a girl for over 15 years from when I lived down south. I moved back home 10 years ago bc it we have always kept in touch - initially by phone and occasional meet ups but now by WhatsApp every so often; we always send birthday and Christmas cards. We both have daughters of similar age (7&8) and I’ve recently had another girl a few weeks ago at the age of 47 as a result of embryo adoption. She has been a bit funny about my pregnancy journey in the past; she once told me she didn’t want to talk about my efforts ttc with a known donor when I first started trying. Then a few years ago she didn’t respond when I messaged her to say I’d had a failed ivf. I was nervous about announcing my pregnancy to ger over WhatsApp but she responded positively. However, that was 5 months ago I haven’t heard from her since. I thought I’d hear from her in my last trimester but nothing. She posted a comment when I announced my babies birth 3 weeks ago on FB but she hasn’t reached out in any other way - no card or message. I’m a bit perturbed and annoyed tbh. She got pregnant first and I had to grit my teeth and congratulate her all the way through ger pregnancy even though I felt jealous and upset as up to that point my effort ttc had failed. She has mentioned she would have liked a second baby if her current relationship was more serious but at 45 she’s running out of time. Has anyone else experienced a cold or lukewarm response from a friend like this? Not sure how to react!