My husband (33) and I (26) have as close to a perfect relationship as I think possible. We have an infant daughter and both have jobs we love. We have been together for 4 years. During our early relationship we were in different stages of our lives. I was in college and he was trying to establish his career, working and traveling a lot. I always loved him but this strained our relationship. I hated that he was gone so much.
We had been together for 6 months when I had an event I had to go to. He had to be gone for 2 weeks for work. This was the longest he had been gone at that point. My ex was in my friend circle at the time. At the after party I was depressed, lonely, and intoxicated. My ex felt familiar and comforting and was giving me a lot of attention. I went home with my ex that night and we had sex a few times. When I woke up and left I realized what a massive mistake I made. I ghosted my ex and he got the message.
I am close to my SIL (brother's wife) my ex has some mutual friends with her and my brother. I guess he was talking to one of his friends about me. He told him the last time we had sex and my SIL overheard and knew the date.
She eventually brought it up to me and my stomach dropped and heart rate shot up. I thought that secret was buried. We had a long discussion about it and I told her what happened and my reasons. After we had sex I put it in the back of my mind and when I thought about it I pushed it back down to try to convince myself it did not happen.
She told me that I had to tell him and that if she knew it would eventually come out and that it would be better if he heard it from me. I think she was trying to tell me without saying it that she would tell him if I did not. I have been so angry, disgusted with myself and have been a total mess. We have built a good life for ourselves that I don't want to ever lose or out in jeopardy. I have grown and changed so much them that it feels like someone else did those things. I am terrified if losing my family and hurting my husband in such a way. I have been panicking and don't know what to do.
