This is very insightful. Our relationship out side of this issue is really great honestly. We have a lot of hobbies and are always doing something, we talk about the other important things such as finances, family, etc. The only major stress point was his mother's passing last year. Now, granted, they didnt have a good relationship, so her passing was more like closure for him on the whole subject of trying to force her to have an actual present relationship and not just one of convenience.
An example of how the conversations go, just last night I was trying to bring it up as i was wearing a new "lounge dress" that he loved and when I hinted at activity he again was "tired and not in the mood", so I said well, i guess it will happen eventually. His reply was "see! stop doing that. That is such a turn off and makes me not want to at all". Mind you, this was the first time I had made such a comment, because as I mentioned in the title, at this point I feel like I am getting resentful in that area.
He used to go to counseling up until last year, mainly because of the anger he held towards his Mom and Dad. I have mentioned couples counseling, but it's usually met with "eh".