routinezucccini

❤️ I appreciate your help!

I understand completely the "festering" of thoughts, actions/non actions, non communication. It happens at the click of a button sometimes. It is always a very touchy subject when dealing with one's family when it is not your own. You are so very welcome and I pray that things only continue to get better for you two! Remember "this too shall pass" ❤️

This is golden advice! Now that I have managed to plug into his emotions/thoughts last night, I am certainly going to put all this into action! Thank you so very much! ❤️

SO! I am so very happy to report that your advice worked like a charm! After a couple of drinks last night, I brought up the conversation, as you suggested, and he started singing like a canary! It was way more topics touched on than I would have ever dreamed! We even talked about him going to the dr for a check up and he agreed to go! It was a wonderful evening and even better morning! 🙂

Thank you! You time and input is so very appreciated!

Trust me, I know. It's a very sore subject for me as I do go regularly because I would like to be around to have grandchildren one day and get to see them. No, he does not.

Completely understand this one. I have long sensed he wasn't being honest with himself about how he was really feeling. His actions and words do not speak the same things or feelings. This is a great idea! I think it sounds non-confrontational, and just conversation, which always works best i have noticed. Thank you.

I can wholeheartedly say on this topic, I have experienced similar feelings after moving out of my parents house after my divorce. Even after the healing time, I was pretty closed off and once I had my own place, it was a huge relief and felt like a massive weight lifted off my shoulders. I felt free and was full of life and wanting to live. Perhaps your husband is experiencing the same, given it was your family and not his you were living with. It being your family, you were comfortable and "at home". He was forever more visiting and not at home. Make sense?

I have suggested it multiple times. He always retorts with the last time i went to the dr was in high school for a physical. Which my usual response is he is way over due then. The libido works just fine when He is in the mood...

This is very insightful. Our relationship out side of this issue is really great honestly. We have a lot of hobbies and are always doing something, we talk about the other important things such as finances, family, etc. The only major stress point was his mother's passing last year. Now, granted, they didnt have a good relationship, so her passing was more like closure for him on the whole subject of trying to force her to have an actual present relationship and not just one of convenience. An example of how the conversations go, just last night I was trying to bring it up as i was wearing a new "lounge dress" that he loved and when I hinted at activity he again was "tired and not in the mood", so I said well, i guess it will happen eventually. His reply was "see! stop doing that. That is such a turn off and makes me not want to at all". Mind you, this was the first time I had made such a comment, because as I mentioned in the title, at this point I feel like I am getting resentful in that area. He used to go to counseling up until last year, mainly because of the anger he held towards his Mom and Dad. I have mentioned couples counseling, but it's usually met with "eh".

You are correct in that the marriage started post meno, however I never really had any symptoms during the transition period and it wasnt until about 2 years ago that I started experiencing less desire and other symptoms related. Which was why he suggested the HRT. We are both give or take a pound the same as 5 years ago. We dated for a year before we got married.

My husband and I have been married for 5 years. Everything was great in the beginning as it was shiny and new. The sex life was fantastic. Fast forward to the last year and it’s like someone flipped a switch. I went through menopause at 34, I am now 46. He is 44. He wanted me to try HRT, which I finally did and for me it has been a major game changer. I kick myself for waiting so long! During the past year he has mentioned trying different clothes, hair, make up, etc just to make me feel sexier. Which I have spent the last year doing, at his request. Mind you, I have always been a tomboy (not *** by any means) but didn’t really dress up or wear make up let alone fix my hair. I have made so many changes (but I have had fun experimenting with the new me) in the past year that I felt our sex life would greatly improve. It has done quite the opposite. Now we only have sex when he feels like it which is rare. Maybe once a month at best. Most of the time it’s months in between. I try to initiate it, especially in the past few months since going on HRT, but he has not once accepted the initiation. He has come up with an excuse every single time. I am now getting to the point that I sincerely resent him for all these things I have done and changed at his request or “encouragement” and it seems it was all for nothing. I feel like he isn’t attracted to me now no matter what I do. It’s very frustrating and I have no clue what to do or say any more as nothing I have said or done has made any difference and has only started arguments. What do I even do at this point?