RayanPH

I KNOW, I DID, so what now? these things don't bring back her broken pieces. I am talking about me in this forum having this awful experience and misery, with this ***ing guiltiness.

I would do, but it doesn't matter. her heart is broken anyway.

I totally know what I did, and I am feeling so ***ed up. I'm so messed up. I've been so selfish in this relationship. She is worse, she is doing so awful that I have no clue what can I do. I've learnt a lot lessons from this. I feel that my soul is so dirty and full of sins. I am stuck. I've been searching for books, videos, texts, website, ... for self improvement and relationships and love. I need to work on myself a lot, so that I learn that people have value. I should care for people. I am responsible for my partner's feelings. I need to clear my soul and become a better man. All I can do is to sorry myself. I am a monster animal.

We've been going out for a year and a half. I made a mistake accepting her request for relationship. It was my first time. I wasn't seeing things clear. I just made a mistake, and I am super guilty. I dated her, but I always liked her sister, and I always had feelings for her. I made a mistake, I thought it will be fine. I will overcome these stupid feelings. But I couldn't. I didn't do anything regarding these feelings. I have always been repressing my feelings for her sister. I am a monster engaging my girl friend's feelings and heart and do her this. But please don't judge me. I am not proud of myself literally. I am ***ed up in my own conscience. I need help to get out of this misery.

I am super ashamed of myself for what I did to my girlfriend. It's been almost one year and a half of relationship. But I was dishonest with her. I had a major crush on her sister, and I was assuming that I would deal with these emotions and get back to my girl. I failed at the end, and I was quite wrong. Not only I couldn't ever forget her sister, but also I lost my feelings toward my girlfriend. After 2 weeks of fighting and breaking up, which was like hell, I am super ***ed up and I have no choice except searching, reading, talking to get a little better. What should I do?