Whatnow1983

He proposed because I wanted him to. He's never wanted to get married. No, his behaviour is not ok. I just meant he's not some gaslighting monster making out I'm crazy. If he was, I wouldn't be so confused or torn right now I'm going to bring up counselling

I do keep saying he doesn't gaslight me and isn't abusive in the slightest. He doesn't try and make me feel crazy or anything. He told me when he was seeing her, I just didn't like it and also as I said, wasn't being very nice to him at the time. If anything, he's afraid of leaving because of him being afraid to lose our children after I made some awful threats before. So I have to take responsibility too I'm not defending his behaviour with her yesterday but I don't want it to seem like I'm desperate to stay with some awful man. I will suggest counselling again

Oh gosh totally not fine with that. I just mean it doesn't really matter what she does or if she was stood naked in front of him. But he was the instigator yesterday and that's not acceptable or normal if he cared about me properly I did have a gut feeling, yes. I do wonder when he was going to leave me before if it was for her. He would go out of his way for her and tell me he was seeing her. He didn't hide it as far as I know but my gut always told me he had feelings for her

We aren't actually married. To be honest I don't have an issue with her. She was nice and spoke to me normally and there wasn't anything she did that made me uncomfortable. My issue is with him. He's told me for 2 years ages a friend and fought for that relationship and 2 years on shes still here. Even though his behaviour with her has caused issues with us. I suppose that tells me everything I need to know

When he was saying he was leaving I realised he was serious and I had to change then thought abother baby would complete our family

He kept telling me he was unhappy, I wasnt being very nice to him and dismissed his feelings a lot. It was long distance for the first 2 years and only living together for a year when our first child came was alot. I'm very much an independent person and don't like to need anyone and that comes across. I'm not a cuddler. Seeing him with her makes me uncomfortable because I can see how different he is with her, he's happier, lighter and seems to have more fun than we have ever had Batya. Wow. Thank you for that post. It was upsetting but given me a lot to think about. Ironic but the woman was talking about why she was still single and that she refuses to settle

I don't want to not be with him. Everything the rest of the time is good or seems good. So I'm confused

To be honest, I think he does have feelings for her. I think he's just muting himself but you are right, his feelings for me are what matter. Very simple phrase and it hit home. Thank you

I don't think he'd be honest so what's the point? Really asking. He doesn't want to leave the children and we get on well. It was just seeing that yesterday that was a shock. I just don't know if he still has feelings for her and he'd never say yes as he's scared of losing the children

I don't mean he's gaslighting me. I mean he's convincing himself. When we've talked before he's told me he's terrified if he left hed lose the children and I didn't correct him. I want them to have a stable two parent home He suggested therapy and I didn't want to go. I just want everything to be fine again Thank you for your replies

I brought it up with him after my friends left and he didn't have much to say bar a bit of a deer in headlights look. He said they are just friends like 20 times and there was nothing in it and she just had her hands full so he did that. I asked him if he would do that to a male friend and he said yes but I could see the coggs turning and him realising no. So I actually feel worse. Its like he's just told himself everything is fine with us now convincing himself and yesterday we both got a glimpse of how he really feels about this woman

Yes, and he reassured me. She came round to meet me and I thought all was OK, I haven't seen her in about a year and he barely spoke about her unlike before. Today was the first day I've felt unsettled in that long since I got pregnant again. He's definitely made an effort himself but now I have this horrible thought he's only here because of the children

Just normally? He put it in her mouth and she closed her mouth. I'm not saying she did it in some weird sexual way, even under the circumstances that would have been ridiculous while playing with a toddler. It's more the closeness rather than an overt sexual gesture

Yes, she ate the ice cream off the spoon every time he did it while continuing to play with our child

Even if he did it in front of me? I think part of me is hoping it meant nothing as I was there... But then it's still such an odd thing to do. It definitely felt more loving than a lust thing? Like he did it without thinking

I don't know how I did that twice. Sorry

I wasn't, as he said he hadn't seen her in a while and as he works from home and so do I, I believed him. And he said that they were just friends catching up. I have my friends here now so I've not said anything to him yet Does that definitely suggest feelings to you? I wasn't, as he said he hadn't seen her in a while and as he works from home and so do I, I believed him. And he said that they were just friends catching up. I have my friends here now so I've not said anything to him yet Does that definitely suggest feelings to you?

We have and I have friends of both sexes and he's got very few friends anyway. He moved here to move in with me, we've been together nearly 5 years, he's known her probably just around 2, I did the math wrong. I was suspicious at first as he kept talking about her and doing a lot with her and I eventually met her and she was perfectly nice if a little uncomfortable. I guess I don't know what he's said about us But then last year things seemed better after I changed, I take responsibility for me making no effort and not taking him saying how unhappy he was seriously Then I've been fine up until today seeing that. She was here 5 hours

What do you mean, ask myself why? I know he's seeing a therapist on his own. I think it helps having the validation that I'm not crazy thinking what the heck at that happening. Would that make you think he's either cheating on me or wants to with her?

Oh the rough patch was for a year after our first. He made it clear how unhappy he was so I suggested another baby to make things better She's not fed him, she was actually playing with out first child while he was feeding her I think what makes me uncomfortable is that he's different around her, he looks happier and laughs more I'm not being crazy with the inappropriateness of the ice cream thing though, right? Thank you for replying, I feel kinda lonely right now

He wanted her to meet the baby. They haven't seen each other in a little while

She's someone he met through work though they don't work together anymore. We've fought about her before and we were going through a bad patch, mainly down to me if I'm honest. He sees her occasionally now as far as I'm aware, but we've just had another baby nearly 3 months ago. I thought the baby would help us get back on track and it seemed to. He says he doesn't have feelings for her and nothing is going on and I think he believes he believes that or that he's convincing himself of it. But she's been here for 4 hours and they're just chatting away with me joining in. She's not ignoring me or anything but I was uncomfortable when she arrived as I haven't been around her in a long time I just didn't know if that seems 'lovey dovey' as you say, to other people?

Hello, I'm not really sure where to start so I'll jump straight to the question as I don't know if it's me or not My partner and I have 2 young children. He met a woman a year or so ago I was extremely suspicious of them. Just my gut This morning she was here and he got some ice cream out and had some, then fed her some with a spoon. Not just once either, but 4 or 5 times And I'm sitting there thinking what the hell. Is it me or is that a really intimate behaviour? Or at least showing attraction or a level of comfort that shouldn't be there? I don't know if it's me so before I say something I thought I'd ask for some help