Whatnow1983

He proposed because I wanted him to. He's never wanted to get married. No, his behaviour is not ok. I just meant he's not some gaslighting monster making out I'm crazy. If he was, I wouldn't be so confused or torn right now I'm going to bring up counselling

I do keep saying he doesn't gaslight me and isn't abusive in the slightest. He doesn't try and make me feel crazy or anything. He told me when he was seeing her, I just didn't like it and also as I said, wasn't being very nice to him at the time. If anything, he's afraid of leaving because of him being afraid to lose our children after I made some awful threats before. So I have to take responsibility too I'm not defending his behaviour with her yesterday but I don't want it to seem like I'm desperate to stay with some awful man. I will suggest counselling again

Oh gosh totally not fine with that. I just mean it doesn't really matter what she does or if she was stood naked in front of him. But he was the instigator yesterday and that's not acceptable or normal if he cared about me properly I did have a gut feeling, yes. I do wonder when he was going to leave me before if it was for her. He would go out of his way for her and tell me he was seeing her. He didn't hide it as far as I know but my gut always told me he had feelings for her

We aren't actually married. To be honest I don't have an issue with her. She was nice and spoke to me normally and there wasn't anything she did that made me uncomfortable. My issue is with him. He's told me for 2 years ages a friend and fought for that relationship and 2 years on shes still here. Even though his behaviour with her has caused issues with us. I suppose that tells me everything I need to know

When he was saying he was leaving I realised he was serious and I had to change then thought abother baby would complete our family

He kept telling me he was unhappy, I wasnt being very nice to him and dismissed his feelings a lot. It was long distance for the first 2 years and only living together for a year when our first child came was alot. I'm very much an independent person and don't like to need anyone and that comes across. I'm not a cuddler. Seeing him with her makes me uncomfortable because I can see how different he is with her, he's happier, lighter and seems to have more fun than we have ever had Batya. Wow. Thank you for that post. It was upsetting but given me a lot to think about. Ironic but the woman was talking about why she was still single and that she refuses to settle

I don't want to not be with him. Everything the rest of the time is good or seems good. So I'm confused

To be honest, I think he does have feelings for her. I think he's just muting himself but you are right, his feelings for me are what matter. Very simple phrase and it hit home. Thank you

I don't think he'd be honest so what's the point? Really asking. He doesn't want to leave the children and we get on well. It was just seeing that yesterday that was a shock. I just don't know if he still has feelings for her and he'd never say yes as he's scared of losing the children

I don't mean he's gaslighting me. I mean he's convincing himself. When we've talked before he's told me he's terrified if he left hed lose the children and I didn't correct him. I want them to have a stable two parent home He suggested therapy and I didn't want to go. I just want everything to be fine again Thank you for your replies

I brought it up with him after my friends left and he didn't have much to say bar a bit of a deer in headlights look. He said they are just friends like 20 times and there was nothing in it and she just had her hands full so he did that. I asked him if he would do that to a male friend and he said yes but I could see the coggs turning and him realising no. So I actually feel worse. Its like he's just told himself everything is fine with us now convincing himself and yesterday we both got a glimpse of how he really feels about this woman

Yes, and he reassured me. She came round to meet me and I thought all was OK, I haven't seen her in about a year and he barely spoke about her unlike before. Today was the first day I've felt unsettled in that long since I got pregnant again. He's definitely made an effort himself but now I have this horrible thought he's only here because of the children

Just normally? He put it in her mouth and she closed her mouth. I'm not saying she did it in some weird sexual way, even under the circumstances that would have been ridiculous while playing with a toddler. It's more the closeness rather than an overt sexual gesture

Yes, she ate the ice cream off the spoon every time he did it while continuing to play with our child

Even if he did it in front of me? I think part of me is hoping it meant nothing as I was there... But then it's still such an odd thing to do. It definitely felt more loving than a lust thing? Like he did it without thinking