Hi everyone,
In your opinions and experiences, is it ever okay to lie to your partner if it means protecting them from getting angry etc.?
My girlfriend and I have been together for a year now but early on in our relationship, I found out that she was still friends with her ex that she dated prior. She reassured me that they were only friends and nothing more, and even back when they dated, it was never sexual or intimate. He also didn't treat her the best and this led me to not really like her talking to him still.
With that said, early on he did come and visit her from a different state and she allowed him to stay in her room for the night but on separate beds since she has two. When he came she did call me and tell me he was there since she felt it was wrong if she didn't tell me. I respected this about her, and the next time we got the opportunity to be in her friend's state, I asked if I could also meet him and talk to him. In front of me she said that it would be fine to do so, but behind my back, she was texting him and telling him to not come out and just text back saying that he's busy so that I could see. So she basically lied to me so that I couldn't meet up with him and her reasoning behind these lies was because she knows that I didn't like him coming over to visit her and also hearing the stories of how he treated her back then, that I might get into an argument with him if we had met. She never cheated physically or anything like that and I know this for a fact based on other details not included here. Their relationship is strictly platonic.
What hurts me really isn't that he visited her anymore, but more so that she thought that lying to protect the relationship and protect me from getting into an argument with her friend was the right thing to do and this really hurt me even till now.
In your opinions and experiences, is it ever okay to lie to your partner if it means protecting them? In this situation would you guys just forgive and just move on and make sure it doesn't happen again? I really don't know what to do as it keeps popping up in my head.