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alesap

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  1. Thank you all for the answers. Yes. She has feeling for me, but shes also stuck with her exboyfriend. Probably needs time to figure out what she wants. I'll stay away.
  2. I broke up with my girlfriend after 8 years of relationship around 4 months ago. I wasn't so convinced about the relationship and I wasn't in love so it was the right thing to do. The problem is that 1 month before breaking up I met a girl at the office and we started to connect. He was in a 10 years old relationship with his boyfriend but we slowly started to play and increase the connection. We've been meeting and sleeping together for about 3 months and around 1 month ago she decided to break up with his boyfriend since she couldn't handle the infidelity (although she wasn't so convinced). I fell in love with this girl and started to have a needy approach. She was very comfortable with me and we had an intense and romantic connection. She was terribly sad and depressed for a couple of months and didn't contact her boyfriend for about 3 weeks. 2 weeks after the breakup she started to do better, but after that her boyfriend contacted her and they met. He suggested her get back together and she said she needed time to find herself. But at that moment she recognized that she was considering getting back into the relationship with his ex. She also told me she needed time and space for herself. At that moment I felt sadness, and anxiety and I wrote her a letter of gratitude and farewell. Although I told her that it wasn't a farewell and that if she was ready to close the relationship with his ex and open to keep knowing me, I had no problem. But at the same time, I said we should have a bit of distance and not contact for a while. For the first days, I was in agony and obsessed and I couldn't accept the reality. I even called her one day asking if she was going out for the weekend with his ex (I couldn't accept that when she told me she wanted to be alone to think. Now I know I was wrong and it was a mistake). A week after that and without contact, I was looking the things differently. I realized what happened and what made the relationship wear out. I was also more relaxed and with less anxiety. I knew she was feeling sorry for me so I decided to write her and tell her if she wanted to meet to talk. She told me she wasn't ready yet so I told her by WhatsApp that I was looking at things differently and now I was focusing on myself. A couple of days after she contacted me and asked if I still wanted to meet. We met and she was distant. I told her the details about my change, how I was seeing things now and what I thought were our mistakes. She also saw me as more confident and not sad and needy as I was before. But then she told me that a couple of days before our "date" she met again with his ex and they were discussing the things they should change if they wanted to get back together. She also emphasized that she was telling me that because she still had doubts about what to do: get back with her ex, be alone or keep dating me. When she told me that I told her that I thought that the best way to keep the distance and no contact between us. I also suggested to her that she should work on herself before trying to get back with her ex or joining a new relationship. I also told her that I didn't want to have a friendship with her and that I thought I deserved a person who fully wanted to know me. When we said goodbye it was emotive, she was sad and cried and it was like none of us wanted to leave. She is gonna leave the job since her employment contract is expiring soon. But in a couple of weeks, we will still have to see each other at the office for a week before she leaves. I plan to keep working on myself and don't contact her, but inevitably we will see each other in a couple of weeks at the office. I like this girl and would love to keep dating her and I know right now she has a lot of doubts, although she's maybe pulling more of returning with her ex. Any suggestion is appreciated, and sorry for the spelling, my English is not that good.
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