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OldSoul91

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  1. Thanks. I definitely take what he says with a grain of salt. My husband left me for his secretary. I can only imagine the things he said to her about me to justify what he was doing. And I worked really hard at being a good wife. So I definitely know the feeling.
  2. That’s the thing he treats me like I’m the best employee ever and often says I’m the smartest person he knows. Constantly giving me affirmations. I do one small thing and it’s like I solved the world’s problems. I was put on a project over the summer that wasn’t difficult but was time consuming and when it was done he kept thanking me for days. Part of me thinks it’s because he knew the situation I came from was very toxic in that I was constantly put down out of jealousy so I think he’s trying to compensate for my past experiences. He also knows I worked crazy hard at my last job and it feels like he’s trying to make my life easier. Either way, I don’t think it’s appropriate. No other employee has involvement with his family.
  3. thank you. No he has never done anything at all sexual towards me. I do want a job that challenges me, the days certainly drag on here. I was surprised to find that another employee who has been there for 5 years makes half of what I make. I know another employee, a male, makes the same that I do.
  4. @catfeeder I’m sorry that it happened to you but I admire your strength. Do these men typically present as super caring and wonderful? He was like that for years. Very generous, always checking in on me. That’s why this is so confusing to me.
  5. I will say that he does try to mentor me, but then I never really get to do work. When I worked for him part times I was slammed with work.
  6. @boltnrun yes, that's my worry, that I am being paid well but not really earning my salary.
  7. @Wiseman2 Thank you for your response, yes I updated my resume and am sending it out.
  8. Hi everyone. I am 34F and my boss is 57M. My boss (let’s call him L) was once a colleague at a different job we both worked at. He eventually left to focus on his own company which he has owned for decades and I did some side work for him for extra money. A year ago I left my job and went to go work for his company full time. When we were both working at the first place, my husband cheated and left me. L was a big help to me and constantly checked on me to make sure I was ok. He would often sit in my office and talk for a long time. When he left the company we rarely saw one another but we did have a group text going with us and another colleague. So we kept in constant communication. Since I have started working for him things are a little different. I don’t really have much work to do so when I go to the office he spends all day talking to me. Most of the other employees work from home or are in other states, so often it’s just the two of us. We have lunch together and then talk some more and go home. He will then do his work from home. I am frustrated because I need to feel useful at work so I have brought up to him many times that I don’t have enough work and I feel useless and I would like to do more. He keeps telling me I’m overthinking it and that hiring me was the best decision he has ever made. He constantly tells me I am his second priority after his daughter (she’s 15). He has a wife. He has always complained about things she does. She recently randomly came to the office twice to spend the day. On those days he did not talk with me and just did work. Over lunch on those days she asked me about my dating life (I am not seeing anyone) and asked about a man who works at the next office who seemed interested when he came over to drop off mail that was erroneously given to him. When she asked me if he was married I said I didn’t know since I wasn’t interested and she said “well you don’t want a married man do you” to which I told her absolutely not, I just wasn’t interested so I didn’t make it a priority to find out. L has said throughout the years he would never get a divorce because of what his father did to his mother and that if he ever got divorced he would need to be with someone who knew his daughter and who knew that his daughter would always come first. He now has me getting involved in his daughter’s life, helping with homework, going to lunch etc. He recently told me two stories that he told me he has never told another person not even his wife. They weren’t extraordinary stories so it was weird that he would keep it from his wife. Regardless, I’m starting to feel like I was hired to be a full time friend and not an employee. He pays me extraordinarily generously. This bothers me, I feel like I need to earn my salary. At my previous job I was an expert in my field, I liked feeling useful. Does this sound like an emotional affair on his part? And how can I approach it considering he is my boss and I need this job until I find another? I have started working from home when I can, but it makes me anxious to do so because I know he wants me there. He will say to me "are you coming to the office tomorrow?" and I feel obligated to say yes. I will say I don’t think I’m his type physically. His wife is very petite and I’m curvy, so perhaps that helps in him actually not being interested, or perhaps that's wishful thinking on my part.
  9. Yes that was hard! Now I have to figure out how to end it without being a horrible person. He texts me first every single time from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to sleep and all throughout the day. I never ever reach out first. I’m not a fan of ghosting but I also don’t feel right bringing up the reasons especially the social media parts.
  10. agreed. What does it mean to be in the spins? It's unfortunate because he seems to be sexting less and reaching out more to just talk. At the very least I am no longer afraid to go on a first date.
  11. Very heartbroken type posts like: "two people who are meant to be will always find their way back" "if you love someone tell them, risk is better than regret" Posts a picture of a place he really likes and then says "there's only one other place in the world I would rather be."
  12. He has progressed to Facetiming me once a day to catch up. Which is nice, but I have also noticed that his social media posts/activity seem to point to him being hung up on someone else, possibly someone he recently had a relationship with. So, I'm out.
  13. I do not have children. I do not even need to see him all the time. I was a very needy person as a teenager and young adult and couldn’t imagine being alone. After my divorce I learned to be comfortable with myself. I enjoy the company of others but I do not need someone to be around 24/7. I 100% understand him being busy and short on funds. I just don’t also want everything to point to sexual.
  14. Agreed, but I wouldn’t mind that if it wasn’t all the time. I have not suggested a date idea, and the reason why is a combination of being mindful of his tight schedule with the kids and also my insecurity with pressuring people into doing something they don’t want.
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