Mon_1609

14 minutes ago, Rose Mosse said:

Don’t keep seeing him if you find what he says offensive. 

He seems insecure and unsure of himself. Remember that you’re looking at the overall person and their background, where they’re from or what they’re about. What drives this person and what motivates them. 

The comments are disrespectful but they’re also stemming from some other broken and messed up place. You can tell when someone is not at peace with themselves so why would you want to be around that? The whole point of living is to find joy and purpose, make use of yourself and inspire others. You are what you make of yourself. This is so much less about him and more about how you want to live your life. 

Don’t silence yourself for the sake of poor company. Just move on. I wouldn’t bat an eye at this, not even worth it. 

Yes. I think he is broken or very damaged. He also says hurtful things about himself. He says things like “he is ***ed up” or that he has been hurt so much that he is cynical. Yesterday when we were arguing, I also told him to stop saying that about himself and that he has a lot of good things. When I said that he has a lot of good things, I thought that he was going to cry and now I think he senses that im pulling away because he is acting all sweet and nice.

9 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

So how old are you and how old is he? How often does he make sexist comments? Do you come from a culture with traditional gender roles? 

The reason why I ask about gender roles is because here in Australia I don't think the gender roles or stereotypes are that strong, or not as strong as they used to be. It's very common for women to work full-time here and even in high paid jobs like doctor. If you go to a medical centre you will see about half or at least a quarter of female doctors there. I think in general in Australia women aren't looking for a rich guy because they're working themselves. So they hust want a guy with a job to contribute their half.

I noticed though when I went on dates with guys from Africa or Asia who live here, they seemed to have very traditional gender roles and actually thought women want a well off and successful guy. One Indian guy straight away on the date began telling me: "I own my own apartment and BMW car, I'm in finance" even though the conversation had nothing to do with it. Then another guy from Vietnam began immediately listing off to me things like: "I own three cars, four investment properties, my own business. I'm very financially secure" etc. They just started telling me that straight away without me asking and I began to feel like it's an expectation in their culture that women are looking for a well off, successful guy. 

I’m 25 and he is 26 and we are both from Costa Rica. I know that in Latin America there is still a lot of sexism but I have a job and I pay for my own things whenever we go out.

Im realizing that I will have to let him go. He also make comments about the clothes that I wear sometimes. Just today I was wearing a top with cleavage and he jokingly said that is was going to be “kidnapped” I was hoping that it was going to get better….

8 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

Well yeah I think his comments are offensive. I think most women want a man with a job because they want someone who's doing something in their life. And who has money but just in the sense to live on and support his family. I think only a small number of women want a rich gut or sugar daddy and things like that.

Also daughters are not spoiled just because they're a girl based on gender. Some parents spoil their children and the children can also be male. Also what is that comment that he doesn't want to have daughters? You don't actually get to choose the gender of your child, you just get what you get. Unless you adopt.

I think his comments are offensive too. But sometimes I think that he has a problem also with men that are spoiled. I was so upset today when he said that comment about daughters being spoiled. I told him that he was being sexist and that men can also be spoiled and I also pointed the fact that his family helps him with his university. He ended up telling that I was right but I’m at this point where I don’t want to see him.

I know that this is a personal decision but I would love to heard another opinions. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months and I know that he has been hurt a lot on the past but that is not an excuse for keep saying the things that he says.
He keeps saying that a lot of women just want a men with money but then he says things like “but you are not like other women. You are smart and mature”

Today he was driving me home and I was telling him that my parents gave my sister a car and he said an awful comment that he doesn’t want to have daughters because they are spoiled and I was so upset that I told him that men can also be spoiled and I think he saw that I just hit my limit and promised not to say anything like that again.

I’m at the point where I’m considering ending things because my father is also sexist and I grew up hearing things like that. Am I overreacting?

I shared with him because he asked me if i was on birth control. I just told him the truth. 

Hiii,

I have been talking with this 27 years old guy for like 2 months. He was super sweet and i don´t know. I just got out of a bad relationship and i started to like him. We have a lot in common.

At some point he asked me if i wanted to have kids and i though it was normal. I told him that yes, on the future and he said the also wanted to have them at some point.

He always make jokes about marriage or living together but i know he is not serious.

But yesterday we were texting and i told him that i stopped taking the birth control some weeks ago because of some secondary effects and he said "is because you want to have my babies"?

We have not even had sex yet and i have not replied. Is this odd? I never had a guy telling me something like that.